The Happiness Mantra

The Happiness Mantra

It so happens at times that we lose control over our feelings. Be it anger, sadness, happiness or grief. At times, certain situations tend to make us so vulnerable that we cannot keep a guard on our own emotions. Sometimes the reasons are completely valid. But at times, the reasons are either completely invalid or minor. Rather, at times there is no reason at all for the sudden outburst of our emotions.

Being emotional isn’t a wrong thing. We are all humans & humans are the only beings blessed with the widest variety of emotions & the only beings capable of expressing them as well. In fact, we should always express ourselves out. That is an extremely important thing to stay healthy. Emotionally, psychologically & mentally sound.

However, does it not happen often that we react extremely in certain situations & later regret it? But still we repeat the same actions the next time when faced with a similar situation. Why does that happen? Why do we step into the pit in spite of knowing that we are bound to fall down & hurt ourselves? Isn’t that how it goes? Say you are extremely upset at somebody, & so you express your anger at that person,  & later regret saying all the stingy things that you blurted out in that very moment of emotional outburst. So, why not curtail it, instead of regretting later?  Isn’t regret also a form of a negative emotion? And any kind of negative emotion is always a nuisance. Terrible nuisance, I would say!

So, here are 10 small tips which you can surely try to implement in your life style, to save yourself the bouts of the negative feelings:

1. Stop Expecting:  The very first rule is to stop expecting. Stop expecting from people, especially people whom you love. With great expectation, comes great responsibility & with great responsibility, comes a greater chance of the person letting you down. So stop expecting. I know it is not that easy to not expect anything from anyone, you ought to expect small tiny things from people close to you. But that is how the vicious circle works: you love somebody-> you expect something from them -> they do not fulfill that expectation or do not stand up to it -> you feel let down -> you find a situation & express it -> you feel sad. (& the other person feels sad as well). So. Avoid expecting anything from anybody. Even if you do expect, keep it minimalistic with no strings attached. See to it that the “non-living-upto-it” won’t break you down

2.  Be on Guard: The second point would definitely be keeping a guard on all your emotions. Be it sadness,

or anger, or hatred, or jealousy, or anything. You should be in complete control of it. I understand you cannot completely avoid these emotions. But the point is to keep them in check. If you are angry at somebody, see to it that you do not wag your tongues so much that you have to regret it later. Or you end up hurting that person. Just as you are not supposed to hurt yourself, so are you not allowed to hurt others! Once you learn how to keep your emotions in check, half the battle is won. Engage yourself in a common practice which will help you get back your normalcy. You can try to count 100-1 in reverse order when you are too hyper, or breathe in & out with vigor to get that shooting up BP under control. If something is saddening you to a suicidal point, try to think of something you love, or start thinking of probabilities of something nice that might happen out of the present bad situation. It does help, trust me!

3. Get Busy: Get yourself involved in something. Yes! Go out, read a book, draw, paint, listen songs... Absolutely anything that will get you out of the emotional turmoil- into a positive, enthusiastic one. The next time you are upset or grieving, start painting. Or move that butt & dance. Go gym-ing. Get a hobby. It will always act as your runaway point when every other control method runs out. You can call it the “theory of deviation”. Once you deviate your mind to something you enjoy doing, it will automatically act as a stress buster for you.

4. Believe: You ought to believe in something. Something positive. If you are a person who believes in God, always stick to that belief & know that God will always be there by your side, no matter how hard it gets. He won’t ever leave your side, no matter what. Keep that faith firm, & you can sail your boat in any waters. If you do not believe in God, stay assured that there is some kind of a positive energy that works absolutely as you want it to. Believe that if you think well enough, the good will gradually happen. If you stay happy, it will give you a lot more reasons to be happy. Trust me; it is a scientifically proven fact.

5. Socialize: The more you socialize the better. & by socializing, I do not mean only facebooking or tweeting.

By socialize I mean, go out, make friends, talk your heart out with them. Have a good bonding with your family. Always remember, good friends & family- can drive you out of any hard emotion. If you keep to yourself, your mind will over work itself & you will tend to tangle your emotions way too much. If you are a person who doesn’t really like socializing, see to it that you have at least one such friend or at least one such family member, in whom you can confide the deepest of your feelings. As they say, sharing is caring, so is sharing equivalent to light-headedness.

6. Eradicate Negativity: Never think negative. In fact, stay away from negativity in any manner- negative emotions, negative situations, negative people. Try to foresee if a certain action might have any negative after effect. If it does, avoid! Run away! Do anything, but stay away from any kind of negativities. Negativity is the most deathly thing, ever! AVOID!

7. Express: Yes, you ought to express yourself. I know I just said that you should keep your feelings in control & avoid saying things in the split of the moment, but let me make it clear that the whole point is not exceeding your expressing limits. You definitely should express yourself- building up your anger or mounting up your sadness, will only lead to a massive explosion later, of which the consequences will be terrible & un fathomable. So the next time you are upset at your boyfriend, tell him what made you upset. If you are angry at your friend for something she did, tell her that you didn’t like it & she really drove you angry. But don’t overdo it. Don’t express in a way which will work as a Frisbee- trying to get rid of emotions should not give you other negative emotions, back again.

8. Stay happy:  Make it a habit. & trust me; you can make happiness a habit. Decide to yourself that no matter what happens, I will stay happy. Smile. Laugh. Read out jokes. Gossip with friends. Watch comic series. Do whatever it takes, to keep you happy. If you keep trying enough for happiness, it will become a habit & you won’t realize when it gradually becomes your most real emotion. & once you achieve that- once you make happiness a habit, you won’t let anybody spoil it- nobody! Also, you can get a habit to note down the good things that happen to you. & when you are feeling too dejected, get that diary out & read the things that by far made you happy. I would like to call it a retrospective effect. Reliving your happiness, will make you happy again, instantly.

9. Stay healthy: Ok, I did not really want to include this point here, but it is included in each & everything, & it is also true. Stay fit, stay healthy. A fit body helps in keeping your mind fit, & a fit mind always thinks logically. & when you think logically, you will not think hazardous scenarios in your mind & built up depressing emotions.

10. Look around, feel blessed, and Accept:  Yes, look around. I will not use the word ‘comparing’ here, but evaluate the people around you & the circumstances that they are into- that will make you realize how very

lucky you are. There are tons of people out there who have 100 more reasons than you have to be sad or to break down or have every right to be angry at the entire world. But they are still facing it. With a happy face. You will always find the people in the most terrible situations, trying to live more happily than you are. & do you know why? Because they have accepted the situation- as it is. You cannot give away negativities & live happily if you are stuck in a denial phase. Whatever happened just happened. You cannot change it. But you can definitely change its impact on your future. Acceptance is the most important step for changing your sadness to happiness, anger to forgiveness. The more time you take to accept, the farther you reach from your goal. & your goal is- happiness!

In this world, all that matters is- staying happy. As long as you are happy, everything feels great. As long as you are happy, you have the ability to put up with anything & everything that comes your way. As long as you are happy, you can easily get a grip over your stray emotions & keep them under control. With happiness, comes satisfaction. & once you are satisfied with & in your life, everything becomes perfect.

You no longer fret over small small things.

You no longer cry over minor issues.

You no longer get angry at people.

You no longer get distressed or annoyed.

In short, you stay happy.

Purely happy…

Blissful…

Serene…

Calm. ..

SATISFIED.