Happy Birthday, to the best DAD

Happy Birthday, to the best DAD 

Father's have always been underrated. We have always had so much written about mothers and their love and their sacrifices; we have always kind of over shadowed the father's. Every time I see an extremely philosophical quote about a mothers love; I instantly remember my dad as well. Because a father's love is also as pure and as sacrificial as that of a mother’s.

My memories of my dad are all good ones. Honestly, not one bad memory I have. He has always been the man who has showered me with extreme love, affection and care.

When I was a baby, I would never let him go to office. Every morning as he left from home, I would start crying & screaming at the top of my lungs. So much that he had to come back up, play with me, maybe put me to sleep or distract me and then go to office. & This happened every single time. You see, I have always been extremely fond of dad since the very beginning.

As I grew up, dad and I became the closest. He would always play with me, make me laugh, bring me chocolates and do whatever he could to make me happy.

I don't remember who taught me how to walk but I sure remember that dad taught me how to ride a bicycle. He was so patient with me. He would hold the cycle and run behind it, for hours until I learned to ride it properly. Every time I fell down, he would come pick me up, say it's okay and then would prompt me to start riding again. Maybe that's why I don't give up so easily even today. Probably cuz in those cycle sessions, I knew no matter how many times I fail at a task, dad would always be there to pick me up, tell me it's okay and help me start afresh.

When I was in school, probably 1st std, dad wanted me to learn swimming. So we enrolled for a swimming class. I never really liked swimming to be honest but I went. I was also good at it; dad was my coach. But one fine Sunday as we went to the pool, dad casually said, "there is more water today"; and I freaked out. I threw a tantrum right there and refused to even step into the pool area. Dad got really angry & took me back home and punished me. It was a normal punishment to be honest; he made me stand on the high platform from where I couldn't get down- which was kinda funny really. But I still say this to him every single time and every single time he feels so bad about it.

When I was in school, I had a habit of drinking bournvita eevery night. & I always wanted it from dad. Even if he would be late from office, I would wait for him to come back, be it 10 or 12 and I would have it only from him. Now though I do not have bournvita, I still always wait for dad to come back home, and have dinner together, no matter how late he gets.

Kids are usually scared of their father in comparison to their mothers. Not me. I have never been scared of dad. He has always been the most sweetest, the most gentlest and the most caring man I have ever seen in life. For me he has always been the one who would listen to me, always pamper me a lot, who always gave me a free hand at everything I ever wanted to do.

This one time I was going away for merely 2 days to mom's native and I still remember he cried at the station. Because he wasn’t going to see me for a whole 2 days. Like literally cried there on the station. And this has been till date. Whenever I have been away even for a single night, he has cried. Always.

Whenever I was sick, he has always been there. Running from doctor to doctor. Trying to make me feel better. Even when I have something as mere as cramps, he won't let me even get up from my place. He'll always hug me, pat my head, try to make me feel better. And honestly whenever I am sick, having him close by does make me feel better.

When I was in school, he had an accident. A serious one. We all went to the hospital and waited. As he was bought into the hospital from the ambulance; I burst out crying. I had never seen dad like that. He had blood all over and he couldn't walk properly and he had something tied across his arm. I will never in my life forget that. He was rushed to the ICU. He was almost passing out. But even in that, he called me inside the ICU and showed me a thumb wishing me all the best; as it was my exam the next day.

He always accompanies me and my mom for my shopping. He absolutely hates it of course, but he still comes. And I, even though never take his choices in to consideration, always want him there.

One year in Diwali, I accidentally burnt my hair. My hair caught fire on the diya and dad literally put off the fire with his bare hands. Reflexively his 1st reaction wasn't to get water or even think about burning his hand; but to save me. How do father's do that?

Last year I had a back problem and he was literally the strongest support. He was more worried for me that I was. He sat with me the entire time. He went to innumerable doctors even though he himself had fever. But even in that all he could care about was making me feel better, thinking about me and only me.

When I cleared my CS, he was so happy and so proud. As he distributed sweets to people, I could really see him brimming with happiness and pride. He had a pumped up chest and a smile so wide I can never forget. And I really hope I can keep making him proud in the future as well. Really baba, I won't ever let you down. 

Even today, he keeps doing these small small things for me. Whenever there is a new chocolate in the market, he will get it for me. Even if I merely say "I feel like eating so & so"; his first reaction is, "I'll go get it" no matter if it's 6 in the morning or 11 in the night. If I even feel a slight discomfort, he'll really get worried and do whatever he can. He will give me his umbrella and get drenched himself, even though he catches cold easily. He will always make me walk from the inside of the road. He will immediately exchange plates the moment I even mention that I don't like my ordered food. He will always come to drop me or pick me up, the moment I call, no matter what he is doing, even if he is having dinner or is on an important call. There was this one time where we ordered a falooda with ice cream and I couldn't really eat it bcuz of the ice cream so I said I don't want it; but he knew why and he actually fed it to me.

From as long as I can remember, he has been there for me. Through thick and thin. Always giving me the support I needed, whenever I needed him.  Never once in my life I had to worry about any pressures because I knew he would always support me. And he has. He has always since forever supported me in all my dreams, all my ambitions. He has always motivated me to get what I wanted, always helped me realise that I can achieve whatever I set my mind to. Because he would always be there. Even if all bets are down, I know he will always be there.

I have never in my life seen a man better than my dad. The means and extents he goes to just to put a smile across my face, who wouldn't care a tini tiny bit about the world if it comes across my happiness. Though mom has taught me a lot of things and I call her my teacher in a way, dad has also been one. He has taught me far greater things.

I wish I could stay with my dad forever. Not to mention, the perfect man that he is, always has been; he has set really strong standards. Whenever I meet a guy I try to look for parts of my dad in him. But no guy can ever be as amazing a man as my dad. He really is the best there can ever be. & even though I never admit it as often as dad does, it terrifies me as well thinking about living away from him after marriage.

I probably don't say it as much as I should but I really love you baba. You are my best friend, my strongest support, like a rock. I might not express it as much as I should but I really care for u, a lot. & You mean the world to me. & I really really hope that I keep making you proud and happy. I really wish I do make you happy even now. You are one of the best person in my life and I cannot even imagine not having you around, or not having your support ever. Please always be with me, just like you have always been and I'll be the happiest girl in the world. Since a kid, I have trusted you to catch me when you threw me up in the air, and I’ll always trust you with my life, forever.

And honestly thank you. Thank you for everything that u have done. But you'll have to keep doing those things cuz I'll always need you.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love you loads.

You're the best.

THIS THING WE CALL "LOVE"…

THIS THING WE CALL LOVE…

Why do we find it so hard to accept love? To confess love?

Isn’t it supposed to be a positive emotion?

I have seen people flip out the moment a person expresses their love towards them. I have done it too. Freaking out, only because someone said they loved me. This is so strange, isn’t it? It is like we millennials do not want to get entangled into this beautiful mess that is called love. It’s always “too much” or “too fast”. We keep saying things like we aren’t ready for love or we do not have the time for love; but is that going to change, ever? Rather, do we really want that to change?

Equally, we are also scared to fall in love or express the love that we have. We try to constantly keep our feelings in check, under control, trying to fit it & limit it within boundaries. All this, only because we fear getting hurt. We fear vulnerability. We fear endings. We carry the weights of our pasts. We think of the negative “what if’s” even before there’s a reason to.

I have seen people who would love to be in relationships, yet are not, only because they fear intimacy. Because they fear commitment. Because along with all the wonderful feelings, love also brings with it compromises and adjustments. It also brings with it the need to put someone else before you. & we, as a generation, are scared of it.

Yes, scared is the word.

We are all so scared of love. Scared to love. Love- which is supposed to be the easiest & the most stimulating feeling ever. Love- which is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Love- which is supposed to make your life better, make the problems appear smaller. Love- the only thing that can make you feel complete.

It is funny how we flip out, try to find reasons & over analyze everything if someone says “I love you”. But we wouldn’t bat an eyelid if a person said “I hate you”.

Why is love so hard to accept? Why is it so messed up? Or is it, really? Maybe we have messed it up by our over analyzing skills. We are constantly stuck between “what if it’s not the right one” and “what if it is the right one”, that we prefer to stay in the middle- where things are easier. Yes, we tend to take the easier way out.

But that’s not how love works. You can fall for any random person, anytime. Love doesn’t make you worry about her past or about his financial stability. It is an all accepting feeling.

When you look across a crowded room and see him there- the relief that washes over you is love.

When after a tough long day, you listen to her voice- that momentary ease you feel is love.

When he reaches out to hold your hand while you’re crossing roads- that’s love.

When she keeps checking on you, even after you’ve had a fight- that’s love.

When you can talk about anything & everything; but also when the silence is as comfortable- that is love.

When you hold her/ him close to you, & that very moment, for that tiny instant there the world feels just about right- that is love.

It was so much simpler in the good old days. I do not think the previous generations were so messed up or so confused about love. Why can’t we be like that? We keep looking for everything in a partner- looks, personality, sense of humor, sexual compatibility, family values, career, past- everything. & we over analyze everything, with our first instinct being- to find a fault somewhere. & when we cannot find any fault, we try to look for reasons beyond. We look for a perfect love story, a fairy tale life. But we can never find it, because love is not a story book. It is always going to be a lot of work, but in the end it will all be worth it, because that’s how love is.

Love is a beautiful feeling. It is the only thing that gives you strength, the only thing that has the capacity to make you feel even so slightly better in this crooked world. But here we are, fighting against it, avoiding it, running away from it as much & as far as we can. 

But we cannot run from it forever, for Love is a short word but the most important one.

For love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt. 

A Valentine's Day Story: Love

A VALENTINE'S DAY STORY: LOVE

It is Valentine's Day today. 

It is obvious from the surrounding- the air is full of love. 

On my walk, as I pass across an Archie's store, I see it decorated with various shades of reds. Lots of hearts & chocolates adorn the display. It all looks so cute! I am tempted to go inside the store, but I don't. As I cross a few more yards, I see a young couple- probably in their twenties- drenched in their new found love. Their happy and blushing faces put a smile across my face instantly. The guy reaches out to hold the girl's hand, and the girl smiles wider. Love is such a  beautiful thing. 

As I complete my walk- a long one- I have put on some weight recently & my girlfriend hates it when my fat blobs show up through my clothing- as I reach my house, I see a balloon-man selling heart shaped balloons. He asks me to buy some. When I say no, he says "le lo na Saab.. Madam ko accha lagega". I smile at that & buy some 5 balloons from him- all in the shape of hearts in red & pink. Khushi has always loved balloons.

As I reach home, I remember the good old days - not that I am too old- I am just 28- but yes the good old days which were just a few years back. When there was a lot to do, a lot to be achieved- a lot of dreams and a lot of desires.

I faintly remember when I was in my twelfth- that was the first time I had taken note of valentines day. My best friend had a new girlfriend, & he asked me for a gift idea. I always sucked in these matters & just shrugged my shoulders. For me, v-day was nothing but a usual ordinary day.

Things changed when I was in my second year of college. This year, I had a girlfriend. & just like every girl I have known, she was very excited for the valentines day, it being our first one together. We met up, went for a drive, a dinner & back home. She gave me a hand made card and I gave her roses. I still remember every detail of that day. The way she walked in. What was she wearing. How she blushed when I bent down to give her a peck. Her scent. Her hair on my face. Every single thing.

After that, days and years passed. Though we stuck by every year, the valentines days just kept passing away year after year. Every year she would be excited for it, & every year something would crop up. 

Today when I look back, I realise how many valentine days we missed expressly because i was so busy, year after year, trying to achieve my dreams. Not that she ever complained.

Eventually, both of us got busy in our lives- even more with the increased set of responsibilities. Both of us had our work commitments, family commitments and not to mention the everyday errands we needed to do as adults now.

Our love for each other kept growing with each passing day. We kept getting closer & more comfortable with each other. We understood each other like no one else & we knew we always had the other to our back.

But there was just so much happening in life. I was getting promotions & climbing the ladder of success with great speed. So was she progressing on her fronts. But I guess the only thing that differed between us was, the ability to draw out time for love. While she made it a point to give me & us certain time, I failed to do so. A lot of times I would commit & then fail to stand up to it. But, she hardly complained. & when she did, I always hated it.

I still remember that day 2 years back. It was 13th February. 

At around 8 AM , I got a call from her.

"Hello".. I answered drowsily

"Good Morning my babyyy. You're still sleeping?"

"Yeaa.. Just woke up. Say"

"Ooh.. So sorry I woke you up."

"No no... It's fine."

"You know what date is it tomorrow?" She asked with a sudden enthusiasm

Being completely blank about the date, I started thinking what was it that had drawn up this early morning quiz.

"Hello?? Jaanu???"

I realised I hadn't spoken a word. "Err... Mmm.. What's the date today?"

"It's 13 February today!"

"Oh ok. So its 14th Feb tomorrow. Yea."

"Yes. Annddd...?"

"&?? & what?"

"Kya hai kal???"

I tried & failed to remember any upcoming event or a birthday or an anniversary.

"Arre its valentines day na tomorrow!" She wailed

"Oh! Oh yes. Valentines."

"I was thinking, lets go out somewhere. We haven't celebrated valentines day since ages now!"

"Umm.. Ya. We will. I'll make reservations at Et Resoto for tomorrow night."

"Mmm.. OK. But I want more time with you. Lets meet in the evening naa."

"Not possible. I have an important meeting. Cant avoid it."

"Pleaseeee... I really want to celebrate it this time. U always alwaysss have work on valentines. No excuses tomorrow"

"You think I am giving excuses??? I have been working like crazy. & you think I am giving you an excuse?"

"Why are you getting angry? I should be the angry one."

"Yeah right. I slog like hell. I have a promotion due. & my girlfriend wants me to blow it all up for a stupid valentines day that comes up every year."

After a few moments she replied, "I'll wait for you at the marine drive around 7 pm tomorrow. Is 7 fine?"

"Yes. Thank you"

She disconnected the phone. I knew I had pissed her off, but I did not have time to bother about it then. I had a meeting to attend- & to lick my boss's ass for the promotion.

The next day went by in mad rush. Pleasing the client was getting tougher than pleasing ten upset girlfriends. 

At precisely 6.30 PM, I got a text message that read "I have left from home. Will reach by 7."

Looking at the mountain of work that had just piled up, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it by 7. But if I told her this right now, she would get angrier. & in no way could I leave this work too.

After a while- I don't know how much- my phone started beeping. I picked it up.

"Where are you? I have reached around ten minutes back."

"So sorry baby. Too much work. But I'll be there ASAP."

After a while, my phone beeped again, which drew a snarl from my boss.

"Hello" I whispered

"Where are you? I have been waiting since half an hour now! If you couldn't make it at 7, you should have told me when I left!", she said sounding terribly annoyed by now.

"I had told you there will be work. Why don't you understand. I have a promotion due. Abhi kaam chodke aaunga toh problem hoga. & I m saying na.. Just give me half an hour more, I'll definitely be there. Promise."

I don't know how long passed, before my phone rang again. I knew it would be her & I just disconnected it. 

When it resumed ringing again, I picked it up & shouted "Can't you just wait for a fucking 30 minutes more??"

"Hello? Hello. Is this Rohan?" A male voice asked from the other end.

"Yes... Who is this? How do you have this phone??" I said feeling a strange tug.

"Hello. Yea. Actually yaha ek accident ho gaya hai. Unke phone pe ye last dialed number tha isliye call kia aapko. Unko City Hospital leke jaa rahe hai."

The world around me swung in fast motion. The next thing I knew, I was running out of the office, praying to every God I knew.

All that happened next, still seems like a dream- a horrible nightmare.

 

Its been three years now since Khushi left me - & every day, I regret for not making it up that evening. If only I had reached on time, Khushi would have been with me today. If only I had given her time- I would be having more of her than I am left with now. If only I had known, like her,  where to draw the line between my professional goals & my personal life... If only.... But no matter how many ifs I realise now, I have lost my Khushi & I miss her every living day.

As I look at the balloons I just bought, I realise people we love are just like these. 

At times we all get so carried away in our professional lives, our goals, our ambitions- that we forget how equally, rather more important it is to make time for the people we love. 

And just like a balloon needs to be held or tied up, we need to hold on to our loved ones with time, effort & love. Lest they will go - just like a balloon flies away- to never come back to you again.

It's Valentines Day today. I tie down the heart shaped balloon to a nail on the wall- just next to Khushi's frame. Like I said, she always loved balloons.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Khushi. I love you. Forever"

(P.S. All of you out there, make it a point to give time to your loved ones. Days like Valentines offer you an even better opportunity to make time and express your love to the love of your life.

A very Happy and Love- filled Valentines Day to all!)

(Image Source: 

https://www.google.co.in/imghphl=en&tab=wi&ei=1eq9VtOHD6KnmAXNwJuIBg&ved=0EKouCBMoAQ)

Love - Then and Now

Love - Then and Now

It is my parents 25th wedding anniversary. As I make a card for them, on which I paint "Happy Anniversary", highlighting with thick silver sparkle "25th"; I feel awestruck with the number. Twenty-fifth Anniversary. Twenty five years of marriage, twenty five years of commitment, twenty five years of loyalty & twenty five years of splendid togetherness. To think of, 25 is a magical number. Everything feels silvery with a sense of some achievement - be it your twenty fifth birthday or be it a twenty fifth anniversary.

As I think about the rough 23-24  years I have known them, my memories usually comprises the moments of them standing together at the balcony sipping tea, helping each other with their daily routines selflessly, or of their sharing each days happenings with the other at the end of the day- making each a part of the others life. Of course, I roughly remember few of their fights as well, but the sweet light memories are so much more to hide away the few awful moments.

Twenty five years of togetherness. Rather, happy togetherness. My parents had a love marriage that involved 3-4 years of dating each other & eventually getting married. Even in those 3-4 years of dating- of all the stories I have heard so fascinatingly since childhood, there was always such a sweet pure romance to it. Since the day my dad first saw my mom, he knew she was the one. So did my mom-once she had accepted his proposal. Since then, 28 long years back- they have still stuck together with equal, rather more happiness & satisfaction, together. Even when today I look at them, at times they feel more in love than any ordinary couple in their 1st year of courtship.

As I think about this, I also feel compelled to think about the kind of relationships we have today. People, feelings & relationships have become so easy. There is no binding commitment usually, & even if there is, hardly does anybody feel the need to stick by it.

In my 5 years of college life, I have seen more breakups than my parents must have seen in their last 40 years. People have become so oblivious to the sense of commitment. I guess, these days’ girls & boys get into any random relationships that they feel the "spark" for initially, & then break it off at the slightest crackle. Of course, there still are people who are into serious relationships & stick by through thick & thin, but the number is so low that it seems almost invisible.

I have seen so many cases where people get into a relationship, flirt shamelessly to any extent, get into the relationship for a mere tag of “dating”, only to discover later that it was really nothing of the truth. & when this truth strikes, it generally blows off the person- which turns into an ugly breakup. & then, heartbroken messages are exchanged, Facebook & Whatsapp statuses are updated until... Until a new one is found- a new probable candidate for the tag of "true love".

This also makes me think over the fact of "finding true love". I am a girl who believes in the age-old concepts of love & I find it funny when people fall in love every 3 months. These days I genuinely feel people do not understand the meaning of love or a soul mate or a life partner.

Love does not mean him calling you hot every moment. True love never needs to be judged by any materialistic thing- it happens when two people feel at peace together. When you feel a connection- a pull that tugs at you- not simply because the guy is oh-so-hot but because you genuinely feel at ease & at peace with him.

I have observed people have started misunderstanding the concept of love & dating. 

The following things are being considered these days for a potential "Life Partner":-

1. Looks

2. Richness

3. Flirtation skills

4. Social life

5. Space &/or Individuality

Whereas the following things are not considered:-

1. Respect towards you

2. Thought process

3. Honesty

4. Wavelength

5. Family Values

Shouldn't it be the reverse?

In the old times, people fell in love with each other & knew they had to work through the struggles because being together forever was the most important thing for them. But with the changing scenario, forever has only become a dictionary word- an option- nobody really wishes to give in to that long a commitment.

I wonder if after few more years, will there be anybody celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary's? For there seldom are people anymore who stick by even for 2 or 5 years.

Love all over has been grossly misunderstood, I feel. Just spending time together at Starbucks or making out, laughing over ridiculous things or shedding a few tears over an issue- that is not what love is all about. Love is being there for each other through everything. 

Love is when you look into his eyes & know that no person can love you as much as him.

Love is when you take her in your arms & forget every sorrow, every exhaustion for the moment.

Love is when you do not feel the need to have sex at every sole opportunity.

Love is when you understand her mind before she even speaks out.

Love is when you like his food more than yours & so he exchanges your plates, just so that you can have the better one.

Love is when you care for each other even amidst a fight.

Love is when even the silence feels comfortable.

Love is when you hate to see her go out in that sexy outfit, but you still let her - just because you know how much she wanted it.

Love is when you feel the strength to face everything- because you know- no matter what happens- this one person shall always stand by you.

& such love takes time. You cannot call it "true love" within a few minutes of meeting a person or call her your soul mate within a month. Such things usually take time.

Do you know how is a pickle made? You need to put in various different ingredients- the kaccha kairis, the masalas, the sugar & the salt. Then, you need to put in some oil & give it all some time- time for all the ingredients to mix up, get absorbed completely & become one. Only then does the pickle taste good.

Love is just like a that. You need to put in various ingredients- trust, care, strength, & some reality. & then put in the oil of commitment & let it all mix up. Only then does it taste good. 

Otherwise, it only leaves a raw taste on your mouth- just like those failed relationships which you assumed to be your "true loves".

Today, love has become too easy. Options have become too many. & that's the reason why there are too many breakups happening so easily.

The age-old romance was what actual love was.

As I type this, I see mom laughing, breaking into a blush over something that dad just said- standing beside her in the kitchen- as she cooks on some chapatis.