International Women's Day

International Women's Day

Every year we celebrate women’s day with a lot of enthusiasm and fanfare. International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 worldwide, commemorating the political, social and economic achievements of women. Over the decades, the objective of Women’s Day celebration has evolved and embraced culture and ethnicity to emerge as a celebration of appreciation, respect and love towards women. 

On International Day for Women, huge sentiments are expressed about the power of women and many proverbs and poems are directed towards us. It is really nice to have a special day for yourself where you are glorified to a point of being dazed, honored, awarded etc.

On this specific day, women are put on the stage and felicitated by everyone, for being the women that they are, for portraying the immense strength and sacrifice throughout, and for reaching new levels of epitome, success and grandeur with each passing year.

Every year, every Women’s Day, we speak ferociously about gender equality. How both the men and the women are equals and should be treated equally. How there is nothing that the women cannot do that the men can. However it is a sad state of affairs when we see the reality of the situation in light. We love to boast about the level of gender equality that we have all achieved, which is of course, remarkable compared to what we had until a few years back. However, is it really yet “equality” to say the least? I still see women struggling to reach a certain basic point in life, in comparison to their male counter parts. I still hear so many incidents, so many industries where women aren’t given an equal and a fair share, for no other reason than specifically because they are women.

Even today, a woman is expected to stick to the age old conventions of woman hood. She is supposed to have it all together. She has to be a responsible daughter, an excellent housewife, a multi-tasking daughter in law; all the while juggling with an equal work pressure just as her husband or her father probably. Though I agree that the situation is changing and the men are turning a lot more understanding, there still are about 80% of them who would prefer their wife struggling and juggling between work and home. Why just men, even women to say the least. Even today, I hear so many incidents where the mother-in-law still puts all the onus of managing the work-home balance expressly on her daughter-in-law, and not her son. 

Why, you ask? Why, when both of them work for 9 hours every day? Well, the answer is simple. Because she is a woman.  

'Gender equality', you said?

This leads me to another very prominent term these days. “Feminism”. We cannot not talk about feminism when we talk about gender equality. First of all, let me clear what feminism actually means, for I have seen so many people- both men and women confuse the term. Feminism means the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Simply, Feminism is about equality and not the idea of women being greater than men. It also does not mean that you need to show men down. Or you need to argue over every chivalrous act of a man and call it anti-feminist. Feminism is simply a movement, where you do not consider a woman below a man just because she is a woman; where you appreciate & accept her strength. As simple as that! I have heard so many jokes over feminism recently, I have literally cringed at the notions people have about the concept.

We have been celebrating Women’s Day for so many years now. We all talk highly about the women, wish them on this day; make them feel respected, loved and cherished.

However, it really saddens me to say that most of us are pretentious when it comes to such occasions.

Let me recount a situation. We have a neighbor who has a daughter, a CA. She wanted to study further, however her parents did not allow her to, for if she is excessively educated, she would not get a better groom; and what’s the purpose of so much education anyway when "you ultimately have to be a house wife".

Yes, that’s a true story, & yes such things still happen even in cities like Bombay. So many girls aren’t allowed to study as they desire for the fear of not finding a suitable groom, as if “finding a groom” is the basic purpose of life and achieving salvation! So many women are told to give up their jobs after marriage, for “taking care of the house is a full time job”. So many women are burdened with the responsibility of quitting their jobs after childbirth, for what can be more important to a woman than her child. Why, even conceiving a child is not entirely her choice, I would say, though its HER body. 

For we are the hypocrites who give more importance to the society than to the wishes and dreams of our own daughters and wives.

"...

“You haven’t conceived a child yet? It’s been 4 years into your marriage! What’s wrong with you?”

“You cannot stay out after 11 PM. That is so late for a girl. How can you even ask that?”

“Oh, she is always hanging out with those 3 guys, alone. She definitely must be chaalu”

“She is already the Manager! I wonder what she did in order to reach up there so fast!”

“Oh my God, you cannot cook yet? What will your in-laws think of you & your family?”

“You drink and smoke so much! You are a girl, you shouldn’t be doing these things!”

“How much more do you intend to study? What is the point when you ultimately have to place your marriage and family first!”

“You read about that rape case? These girls wear such provocative dresses. these days! What is wrong with them?” ..."

Such and so many more questions, still thrown at the women. So many responsibilities, so many restrictions; so many tags given and so many faults found. It is always HER, isn’t it?

And then we celebrate these days- this Women’s Day on every 8^th of March, every single year, diligently; where we talk about how we have progressed and how each one of us respects the women all over. Like I said, most of us are pretentious hypocrites, aren’t we?

We need to stop pulling women down, expecting the same things we did from them, since ages. Women have excelled in every area of life, and are reaching tremendous heights every passing day. Stop trying to put them in a mold, trying to make clones out of them- efficient, standard, factorized clones, who would tend to your age old conventions and needs.

I wouldn’t say that only the men are responsible for this, for I see so many women judging other women, being mean towards them, trying to standardize them into the factory made products, burdening them with societal pressures, pulling them down and trying to place the woman at fault, no matter what the situation is.

It really pains me to see when a woman goes out with her friends to celebrate women’s day, but to do so, has to previously obtain a “permission” from her husband for the same. When, after spending a certain amount on a celebration has to go back and account for each and every penny spent. Irony, isn’t it?

Women’s Day shouldn’t only be about celebrating women and making them feel special on that one single day. It has to be a consistent process.

Small things like encouraging your daughter to find her dreams; appreciating the efforts and helping your wife at home, letting her take some important decisions; treating all children equal; making your girlfriend believe in herself and increase her self-confidence; making a woman feel safe; respecting her & her opinions; letting a friend be herself and other such considerate gestures shown to women at the very basic level, will impact the Society tremendously more than any superfluous women’s day celebration will.

So all you women out there, go ahead. Pursue your dreams. Get that degree. Work your ass off, no matter how many excessive hours you have to put in. Wear whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. Hang out with whoever you wish to. There is nothing that you cannot achieve. There is nothing that you cannot overcome. & there is no responsibility that you cannot handle.

& most of all, believe in you. For you are a special soul who is blessed with great power and strength, it is just about going out there and doing it. 

You are the one who can literally create life inside you and support it; you can most definitely create your own path and lead the life you deserve.

You are a WOMAN, trust me- you can fly; it’s only a matter of time until you find your invisible wings and sour to great heights!

Happy Women's Day, all!

Mahashivratri

Mahashivratri

Mahashivratri is a festival celebrated annually all over India, mostly in the month of February. The fourteenth day of every lunar month or the day before the new moon is known as Shivratri. Among all the twelve Shivratris that occur in a calendar year, Mahashivratri, or the “great night of Shiva” is the one that has the most spiritual significance. It is observed a full day, remembering the Lord, chanting mantras, fasting and visiting Shiva temples; complete with a jaagran.

Different legends describe the significance of Mahashivaratri with different stories. According to one legend, this is the night when Shiva performs the heavenly dance of creation, preservation and destruction. According to another legend, this is the night when Shiva and Parvati got married. A different legend states that the offering to Shiva icons such as the linga is an annual occasion to get over past sins if any, to restart on a virtuous path and thereby reach Mount Kailasha and liberation. Another popular belief associates Maha Shivaratri with the legend of Lord Shiva drinking poison to save the universe.

It is Mahashivratri today and as on every year, I and all the members of my family observed a fast. I am a staunch devotee of Shiva and hence every year now, I have been observing a strict fast on this day, having nothing but water. After starting the day with a Puja and offering Lord Shiva with his favorite white flowers and bel, I decided to visit a Shiv temple nearby.

After standing in the queue for almost 20 minutes, I reached the Shiva Linga, which was surrounded by a lot of devotees, chanting “om namah shivay”, offering fruits, flowers and incense sticks. Not to mention, pouring milk all over the lingam.

Now this is a course that happens every single year, & I observe this on every holy occasion that has a Shiva significance; be it Shravan or Shivratri. Devotees offer milk to the Lord, by pouring it all over the Shiv Linga, which then flows down a small formation made & into a pit.

Even though I have been seeing this every year since I was a kid, it still saddens me every single time. The amount of milk that is poured in one single temple is probably liters and liters. & we have at least 5 temples in each city, and India has roughly around 500 cities. That makes it gallons & gallons of milk, literally going waste in just one day.

Though many people would argue here that it is all about faith or belief or what we call, “shraddha”; I really feel this is taking it a bit too far. I agree to the fact (or fiction) that Lord Shiva is always offered milk, and for that reason devotees most definitely wish to offer him his favorite, especially on the most holy days. But is it really right to do so?

Liters of milk go waste every year, when there are so many people starving out there. I fully agree with the fact that we cannot feed every soul every day, and this gross wastage of milk happens once a while, but it still is horrible. We really need to re-think our customs & beliefs- keep the ones that really hold some significance, and abandon the rest. If you really want to offer something to the Lord, offer him your faith, your mind and your soul. Chant his name, think good thoughts, do good unto others. Maybe that is the way the Lord will actually smile upon you. He is Shiva- the one Lord who is considered to be over every illusion, every materialism; the Lord who is considered the most innocent of all, one who is a giver.

& as far as offering milk to the deity is concerned, you can always take some milk, offer it to him, (& pour a spoonful if you really cannot do away with it), and then share the same with a person in need.

Wouldn’t that give you more peace; rather, won’t the Lord feel happier if you help another child of his?

He is Shiva- the Lord who fears no one, who is the start and the end, who is the conqueror; Shiva, who is the creator and the destroyer; whose mantra, Om Namah Shivay itself means “I honor the divinity that resides within me”.

Worth a thought, isn’t it?

Happy Mahashivratri!

(The views expressed above are solely of the writer and are not intended to hurt anybody's religious faith or sentiments.)

Holi - As I Remember It

HOLI- AS I REMEMBER IT

I was in my first standard when we shifted to Allahabad. Hailing from Mumbai, and also being a really young kid, I wasn't exactly aware of the Holi being celebrated across the country.

It was at Allahabad that I first understood what Holi was all about and how was it celebrated. 

The first year, on the evening of Choti Holi (also known as Holika Dahan), that evening everybody from our society gathered on the small ground in our society premises. A huge erection of wood twigs, dry grass and some other combustible materials were piled up in a pyramid shape & decorated with flowers and crape hangings. As everybody gathered, the Holi(ka) was set on fire and everybody sang and went around the Holi(ka) pyre in circles, making offerings and praying. After that, everybody wished each other, did a small tilak on each others forehead; youngsters touched the elders feet while the elders gave blessings. Sweets such as gujiyas and laddoos were exchanged and the next days program was set.

As the next morning arrived, I was pretty excited with the prospect of playing Holi for the first time. I got up really early and dressed up. I got out all the colors that I had brought from the short Holi-shopping trip. I had got a nice big pichkari too after searching through various shops. As I got all of it out, I was beaming with joy. My mother then applied a lot of oil on my hands & face & my hair, and I was ready to go. As my friends came to call me, I rushed out of the house with all my Holi utilities.

When I reached the ground of our building, I was so happy. Everybody was there- right from us kids to the bhaiyyas & didis, the uncles & aunties, the dadajis and dadijis. Everybody was laughing and talking, surrounded with & in colors. The whole atmosphere was as lively and zealous as it could get. That was the day I understood the true meaning of Holi- the festival of Colors. Where the atmosphere is colored in happiness & the people soaked in pure joy. 

As I reached the vicinity, everybody rushed towards me with colors and within a minute, I was head to toe soaked in colors. I rushed around running and coloring everybody. Almost for the next four hours, we all played Holi. There was not a single soul left uncolored. & it was only and only pure colors and water. I do not know if people did not use balloons & plastic bags back then, or was it that our society did not allow it; for I remember there were a lot of guys and girls in their 16-25's , but who also did not use anything but only colors and water.

After the playing Holi (coloring everybody) part was over, the elders told us to reach towards the front play area of the society. After continuing to play for more some while, all of us kids went to the ground. The sight left me agape. There were long tables set, over which there were innumerable pots containing different delicious varieties of food. There was everything - right from the rotis and chawal, 3-4 varieties of sabjis, daal; innumerable starters, desserts- everything. We all feasted over the sumptuous meal. After that we all went back to our respective houses. Holi for the year was officially over. 

I went back home and mom bathed & scrubbed me with i do not know what stuff, because of which, most of the color, if not all, came out, with only a bit left here and there.

That evening as we went out, nobody played Holi again. As Holi was now over. Nobody splashed colors on passer-bys and nobody still ran around with colors. After that for the next four years, that was how Holi was celebrated. At times, there used to be a program in the society at evening; at other times everybody would visit friends and so on. Those Holi memories I cherish till date. Holi had found its place as one of my favorite festival.

After that, we shifted back to Mumbai and here, the Holi was quite different. There was a bit less company for it, I don't think Holi was so famous in Mumbai back then. And over the years, it kept on changing. 

After that, I tried playing once or twice but Holi was never the same. It had changed in leaps & bounds. No longer did people play for the only sake of enjoyment. You had to force everybody out and still people (the older gen) would be adamant to come out and play with colors. Even when they did, it did not feel as good as the older times. The involvement was bleak.

Also now, Holi goes on for days. You find people playing with colors since two days before the festival begins and it goes on till the next two days after it. On the day of Holi, you find more guys whizzing around on bikes in groups- shouting, honking and creating a ruckus. Societies erect loud speakers and go on playing the same Holi songs at the loudest permissible decibels. After the initial hours of Holi day, the atmosphere does not feel as joyous and zealous; rather it feels a bit lazy. Even in the evening, there is no guarantee that you shall remain unscathed with colors, as there are complete chances of few idiots throwing plastic bags from terraces even in the evening- loving to spoil your clean clothes. And the remaining portion of the day is spent by a lot of people drinking away. No longer do people anyways need a reason to drink and what better day than Holi, right? And the day after the Holi, the roads are more smeared with plastic bags than colors. 

I never played Holi again in the last 7-8 years. For my memories of Holi are a lot different and a lot beautiful. They don't have a hint of what happens today and neither would I like to blur them with plastics and hooliganism and intoxication.

I feel we have forgotten the basic purpose of Holi celebration. We are supposed to burn all our ill habits, all the misgivings, all the wrongs - in the fire of the Holika. We are supposed to bring the color of happiness, respect and love into others lives and in the process get drenched in the joy and zeal. We are supposed to actually enjoy the festival and not just enjoy the chance to upload pictures.

Holi, just like the other Hindu festivals has a great meaning associated to it. 

From where I stand, I decipher it as a festival- a chance where you get to introspect and shed away all the wrong and bad inside you, into the burning pyre of the Holika; and an opportunity to bring the colors of happiness and togetherness into others lives; the two actions which indeed make it a 'Happy Holi' for yourself.

Wish you all a Very Happy Holi!  

                       

Republic Day

Republic Day

It is the occasion of Republic Day. I wake up & check my WhatsApp messages, which are full of "Happy Republic Day" wishes. Facebook is also loaded with Republic Day pictures, and looking at all the uploads, i upload one too!

As i sit to sip down some morning tea, I can hear faint "mere desh ki dharti" in the background somewhere. The news paper has a nice tricolor picture & the building next to me hoists the national flag. Some adjacent building has a puja. The overall atmosphere is quite beaming.

As i get up for a bath, i look around. The home is in a mess. My mom hasn't been around for the last two days, & hence you can imagine the situation. I decide to take matters in my hand & start cleaning up the entire house. While this cleaning process, I think about the cleanliness of India. & thinking that makes me also think about various other things that we need to do ASAP.

Our roles in celebrating Republic Day aren't restricted to just uploading tricolor pictures or playing patriotic songs. Our roles also comprise of making India even better, with each passing day.

Following are, I feel, the things which we, as Indians, should adopt and try to implant in our day to day lives.

1. Cleanliness- We should all make an effort to keep India clean. & by clean India, I do not mean only banging the "Swaccha Bharat" slogan or taking on streets over one Sunday in two months. By cleanliness I mean we should all make serious yet simple efforts to keep our surrounding clean. Try to not throw away wrappers on the road, don't put waste out of the waste bins on the streets, don't litter the trains with waste, keep the public toilets clean after use and so on. Just take care of your own acts, & everyone will.

2. Environment- We need to take care of our environment. Don't kill wild beings. Don't pollute the environment with noise. Try to minimize the use of vehicles for small distances. Do not print unless extremely necessary. Plant tress- but not a random tree at on any public road- take care to see that it does not effect the localites and also that it will be taken care of.

3. Water- We should all stop wasting water. We have been facing water cuts since the first day the rains stopped. & its still long before the rains come again. But yet, we have been wasting water. Don't overuse the available water just because you have it. Try to minimize the use. Try to stop the wastage.

4. Intolerance - I feel ashamed to put this, but yes, we Indians definitely have turned intolerant towards everything. & we are dumb enough to call ourselves tolerant while protesting for a film because an actor called us intolerant. People, we do not need to raise bandwagons over every statement and every act, which isn't even remotely near to the issues that actually matter. If you want to be hyper over things, be over issues that concern the general public - which we have enough.

5. Supporting the 'isms'- I feel any 'ism' over an extent is wrong. Be it caste-ism, religion-ism, feminism, & any more. You feel strongly for your caste- sure, support it- but don't try to show the other castes in the worst light. You think religion is the key thing to stick by- go ahead- but don't be ready to kill anybody who expressed otherwise. You call yourself feminist- sure, but don't bank on it. Know the fine line between extrem'ism' and support.

6. Respect: We all need to start respecting our fellow people a bit more. From the neighbors to the sweepers; and from the celebrities to the common man. And especially learn to respect the Women in our society a lot more. Always, when you give respect, you earn respect!

7. Health and Fitness- We all need to take care of our health. We all need to be fitter. These days when I look around, I find so many obese people. No longer can 4 people fit onto the benches in  local trains. I see so many people falling sick the very moment they go into the rain or travel in hot sun for a day. We just do not care about our health & figures. We need to understand the importance of being fit and also need to realize that running to the hospital and getting one million tests done isn't required every time. Just like the slogan "Padhega India, tabhi toh badhega India", I feel equally important is " Fit rahega India, tabhi toh badhega India".

So this 67th Republic Day, lets all swear to eradicate the negatives and adopt the positives. Let us try to make India the way our Constitution makers had dreamt of. Let us, for once, make India proud of her Indians.

Happy Republic Day! 

Jai Hind!

SANTA CLAUS AND GIFTS

Santa Claus and Gifts

"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle all the way;

Santa Claus is coming around driving on a sleigh"

Christmas. The English festival which is celebrated every year with equal zest & enthusiasm in India. Every year during Christmas, shopping malls are decorated with goodies, sporting huge Christmas trees. Shops are full of various Santa masks, frills, bells & scarfs. Cake shops are filled with aromas of plum cakes &  rum cakes. The roads are bright with a lot of red & green everywhere around. People get home Christmas trees, & decorate it with all the beautiful cutest things possible. 

& then, the best part happens. Santa comes around with a sack full of gifts! 

Gifts are exchanged. Secret Santa's are done & the Christmas day becomes an even more merrier day.

As a child, I was always fascinated with the concept of Santa Claus. I used to diligently hang up socks on Christmas eve on my main door & wake up super excited the next morning. & then I would run around the entire house trying to find out my gift which Santa had hidden away somewhere very smartly. & then!!!!! I would find it!!!!! Trust me, the happiness of receiving a gift from Santa was always a hundred million times more than getting gifts from anybody, ever. & somehow magically Santa always knew what I would love the most as my gift.

I remember that once I was visiting  my Maasi during Christmas & wasn't going to be home that night. So I had called up my dad & told him to hang up socks- back home. & just to be sure that Santa doesn't miss me by any chance (what if he checks whether I am in there & then not finding me, decides to not give me a gift?!), so I hung up a sock at my Maasi 's place as well. The next day, the usual course followed. I zoomed around & found out that Santa had left a greeting card for me! & it read "Ho Ho Ho Gauri. I have left your gift at your home!! Merry Christmas! Yours, Santa Claus". 

I was so happy!! Santa Claus had written a card for me in his big-just-like-him handwriting- imagine my happiness! (oh yes, I really believed Santa had written that letter to me!) 

& yes, he actually had left a gift for me back home too!

I faintly remember, once I had gotten into an argument with a friend over Santa's existence & his giving gifts. When she did not believe my words & instead said "arre pagal. Wo Santa nahi deta. Wo toh mummy pappa gift rakhte hai"; I so hated her that moment & told her that she was lying. Finding no other valid argument to prove my belief in the existence of Santa, I just dropped a line saying that Santa gave gifts only to good children.

Once I had asked mom when does Santa exactly come? Over which she told me that Santa comes late at night when all the kids are sleeping. 

"Can anybody see him?", was my next question. 

"Yes. If you are awake, you can see him when he comes here to keep your gift."

Feeling excited about getting to see Santa, I declared that I would stay awake that night, as long as it would be. & I started imagining meeting Santa, talking to him, hugging him-all with sparkling eyes. But alas, being a kid of 7,  I feel asleep very soon. & my dream of meeting Santa was drowsed down by heavy sleep.

When I was in 5th std, I woke up on Christmas morning with the similar zest. I had stuck up the socks as always & was anxious for receiving my gift. I zoomed around the house for 10 minutes but couldn't find my gift. After searching every nook & corner, I realized there was no gift this year. I started crying uncontrollably. Over which, Mom dad said in a monotone that "Arre Santa Claus gives gifts to small children. You are a grown up kid now. How can he gift you?" 

Over which I wailing replied "I am still a small kid. I want my gift. This is not fair!!" Mom dad tried to console me, but last what I remember blurting out was "I hate Santa!", furiously.

Though it was all momentary in the sadness of not being Santa's good child anymore & though I never hung up socks on any Christmases again, I still do love Santa & Christmas. And even though I do know now who the Santa really was always, I still love to believe it was actually Santa Claus. Santa Claus who came down on his Reindeer's singing "Jingle bells" every Christmas night, checked if there was a socks hanging, magically got in through the tiny gap in the door or an open window, & left a gift very lovingly. Santa, the old fat chubby white-bearded man who loved good obedient & well behaved children & who actually took efforts to make gifts in his gift factory as per each child's choice. The warm loving Santa.

 \

I remember as a child I used to make up lists of what I wanted for Christmas. Every year the list changed. It would be anything from a new video game to a new puzzle; a new dress to a new mug; a new comic to a new hat; a new doll to some chocolate- any random thing. & I was always ardently happy with what I got.

Today as I write this, I wonder if I had to make a list for Santa; what would that include? Definitely not dolls or chocolates. For if given a wish now, I know not to waste it over things like these. In childhood, those were the biggest wishes,giving the biggest joys. But today, really?

Why not try it out. So here, let me make a list of my wishes. & as Santa needs to know your true exact wishes, otherwise he cannot fulfill them, lets be very honest. 

Here it goes:-

1. Happiness & Satisfaction

2. Peace

3. True friends

4. Good Health for all my loved ones

5. ......

Oh well. So basically I want a very few things, & well, things that cannot be bought. Happiness, satisfaction, well being... Can Santa give it to me? I guess not. But we can always hope he could. Like really Santa, its fine if you can't put it in a nice box & wrap it with your glitzy paper. Really, fine! But just give these to me!

Jokes apart,but that's how it is. The older you grow, the shorter your list for Christmas becomes. Because the things you want, cannot be bought with money. The things you want, cannot be really showered onto you. As kids, we would have found it hilarious if we ever saw "good friends" on somebody's Christmas list. But now, we do know the importance & the bleakness it now has attained. The things you want are no longer so simple as to put them in boxes & present them to you. Wish it really was that simple!

Well well. It's Christmas. A festival of happiness & love. A festival of sharing & caring. So lets just make our Christmas lists for Santa- whatever they may be & hang up socks with the same genuine hopes that we did as kids. Who knows, Santa might really show up & gift us in galore!

A very berry Merry Christmas to all! 

Hope Santa fulfills all your wishes! *wink wink*

(P.S. Dear Santa, if you cannot give me my these wishes (fulfilled), &if its really like you gift only able-to-buy kind of gifts, I would be fine with a Jimmy Choo as well ;) )