THE WEDDING BELLS

THE WEDDING BELLS

It is that time of the year again, when every other day, you get to see beautifully dressed women around you, lighting-clad buildings every second day, & loud music every third day. Yes, it is the Wedding Season.

Every year, the wedding season starts in the month of October & ends in May. All these months, you get many wedding invitations; form near & dear ones, as well as from distant relatives. Even people with whom you have not had any contact in years, surprise you with a wedding invitation of their suddenly grown up son or daughter’s wedding.

So, this year, we had four such invitations. Some from our relatives and some from our friends.

However, I would be attending only one wedding from the four- my friend’s wedding.

(P.S. yes, my friend, who is just 21 like me, & had her wedding this month while I was still juggling with my college studies & internships).

So, I was to attend that wedding. The first biggest question that popped up was, “What do I wear?”

Being a wedding, I had to wear something heavy. You cannot wear something simple or fashionable to a wedding. That is against the rules. You have to wear some heavy, embroidered, glitzy traditional outfit. With loud colors & heavy designs.

However, I do not really like all this. I am a very simple girl, whom you would always find in the simplest of the Kurtis or tops. “Heavy” for me would be a Punjabi suit with a fine silver embroidery. That is all & nothing more. Anything more than that makes me cringe. I agree that some people look beautiful in those typical heavy anarkali suits & all that, but not me. 

Secondly, I do not really believe in spending a huge sum of my or my dad’s hard earned money over an outfit which I would not wear more than twice in my life. An outfit which would adorn my wardrobe more than me. I would prefer spending a part of that money over buying clothes which I would actually regularly wear!

So, I chose one of my salwar suit- a dark orange & purple dress with a golden border around it. My Diwali Dress of last year. Good enough for the occasion. Having worn it just twice, it was still looking brand new. I chose the same accessories with it- mid-long earrings, & a set of a dozen bangles- & there- my “preparation” for my friends wedding was over.

Beep beep. Beep Beep. Beep Beep….

My phone beeps. A call from my friend Sheena.

“Hiiiii”, she chirps.

“Hi! W’ssp”, I say

“I am so lost” she wailed.

“Why? Kya hua? All fine with your boyfriend?” I ask, concerned.

“Haaaa ree..”

“Toh kya hua?”

“I absolutely have no idea what to wear for Sanjana’s wedding!!!”

“Oh!! You have so many dresses Sheena. You can wear anything!!”

“They are all old!!!!”

“Old? Dude... You wore them once!”

“So what!!! I need something new... but kyaa lu??”

“Mmm…a salwar suit?”

“Mad or what? Dost ki shadi me salwar suit? I need a new saaree or a lehenga!”

“Sheena- it is Sanjana’s wedding. Teri shaadi nahi hai jo lehenga kharid rai hai!”

“So what.. I will anyways be going shopping today!”

“Hmmm Ok!”

I disconnected the phone feeling stupid. I mean, was I dumb or was she? My mind had already started calculating. A new saaree  (Like the ones that girls my age wear, for weddings & occasions like that), would cost nothing less than a 6000 to 8000. Then she would get a designer blouse stitched, which would cost another 500 or so. Accessories to match it- another 500 for sure. That would be like around seven to nine thousand for a single wedding!!!!!!!

My mind just switched itself off before I could start calculating the cost of a new designer lehenga.

Finally, the D Day arrived. The wedding day.

Dressing up as I had earlier decided, I left my place around 9 in the morning. The wedding was in my city itself, & the hall was located just a few minutes away form my place. I reached the venue by 9:15. Well in time.

Waiting for my friend at the entrance, I could not help but observe all the people arriving at the wedding. Aunties clad in heavy chiffon saarees, girls in anarkalis, the men in sherwaanis & so on. Few women looked really pretty in all the makeup & the gaudy dresses. While some looked a huge blunder! I mean, common, when you are forty, with tummy that is bulging out, you do not wear a peach colored net saaree with gold jewelry! Fashion disaster!!

Finally, my friend arrived, & I was saved from the horrendous sights!

She was, no doubt, looking beautiful!!! Perfectly pretty I would say!!

She was wearing a beautiful pink net saaree , with like a dozen silver bangles, earrings & a small neck-piece. Perfect.

“HIIIIIII” she greeted me, as always, with over the top enthusiasm.

“Hiii” I replied.

“Sorry I got late!”

“Arrre its ok.. & by the way, you are looking just so beautiful!!!!”

“Thank you!!!”

Being the curious cat, I immediately asked- “Where did you buy it from?”

“ABJZ” she replied.

I had no idea of this shop or brand, but the sound of it made me realize immediately that it was an expensive one.

My intriguing nature took over me again & I asked, “For how much?”

“9999/- only” she said, sounding really happy that she got a lovely saaree  for “JUST” 9999/-.

I went into a state of shock.

Nine Thousand Nine Hundred Ninety Nine.

That’s almost ten thousand.

TEN THOUSAND!!!!!!

Jesus Christ!

This girl spent ten thousand on one saaree !!! I would have bought 20-22 Kurtis in this amount!!! Which would be like- my two & a half year clothes!!!

& she spent all that on just one saaree !!!

ONE saaree .. Which she would wear not even ONCE again after that day!!!

WHYYYYY???!!!!

While I was still wondering about all this & my brain was busy torturing itself with stupid mathematical calculations, we reached the wedding hall. It was buzzing with people & liveliness. So much of enthusiasm in the air. People were standing or sitting in groups, chitchatting with each other, discussing each other’s dresses, analyzing other people’s jewelry & gossiping about whose daughter was seen with which guy & whose son was found smoking at the lane near his house.

Standing on the stage, was the beautiful couple. Waiting for the Pundit to make the necessary arrangements so that they could sit down in front of the Hawan Kund. Both of them looked pretty! & so happy!!! Of course, it was their day. The day they would actually start spending their lives together & stand by each other’s sides for all the years to come.

Finally, the pundit told them to take their positions & they settled down. He started chanting some mantras in Sanskrit, & everybody joined their hands. The divine ceremony began and the bride & the groom, along with their parents, got completely engrossed in performing the rituals, while the audience continued with their banter.

While my friend got busy clicking selfies in the new outfit, my eyes kept wandering around…observing the people who had come to attend the wedding of their relative/ friend.

Beside me, was a huge group of women, who were all busy chit chatting & gossiping. All of them were clad in heavy saaree  & gold. You could see all the varieties there- chiffon, kanjivaram, zaree, net, paithani- all of which were neon like colors- red, green, orange, yellow, & so on. With huge borders around & huge studs over them. Though all of them were clad in a variety of saarees, there was one common thing among all of them. Gold.

Yes. All of them were clad in SO MUCH gold. Tones of gold to of say. Huge earrings, with a minimum three neck pieces- all gold. Pure gold. If a thief arrived at the venue- at that very moment- stealing the gold off one single aunty would make his life forever.

I really do not understand the reason behind all this. Why do people spend so much. Like, really. Buying brand new dresses or saarees for each single occasion, spending around six to ten thousand rupees over each celebration- why?

I have friends who have their own collection of saarees & lehengas- right from now. At the age of 21, they have half a wardrobe full of saarees- saarees which they bought for Diwali, weddings, New Year, college celebrations- each saaree, well above 5000/-, each worn for not more than twice for sure. I really do not understand why do they spend so much.

Suddenly, we were all called up on the stage. The main part of the wedding was about to begin- the time when the dulha-dulhan exchange garlands. We all went on the stage, & were given akshata. (In our religion, there is a custom that when the bride & the groom exchange garlands’, people shower them with akshata, that is rice grains- or at times with flower petals). The ceremony began, the garlands were exchanged, & everybody showered the akshata at them. Happiness & enthusiasm everywhere. The groom was flashing a wide sheepy smile, while the girl was blushing. Friends & families were rejoicing.

As everybody started getting down the stage, the bride & the groom were rushed to their respective rooms, to get them ready for second half of the ceremony.

As I got down, I was tugged at my arm by Sheena, who was looking frantic.

“What happened??”

“Gauriiii… I lost my neck-piece!!!”

“How?? Kab??”

“IDK! I guess when we went on the stage! I can’t find it now!! Please help me!!”

“Yes yes... Relax! We will go on the stage, it must be there”

& we went back on the stage & started searching for the neck-piece. While I was searching for it, I could see so much of spilled rice all over the stage. All gone waste. If we could have somehow accumulated it all, it would serve as food for some person for a whole month. Or maybe more. We do such wastage of food in the name of customs!

Finally, after a thorough search, we found the neck-piece.

As we sat down on the chairs again, we saw the bride & the groom coming back on the stage- in a brand new avatar. The bride was in a beautiful new saaree, & the groom was clad in a perfect suit. As they both came on the stage, they looked at each other & smiled. Before they could say anything to each other, they were interrupted by the bride’s sister, who came up to place a flower in the bride’s hairdo. & from there, the line of people started. Everybody going up the stage, wishing the new couple & getting a picture clicked with them. While the new couple just stood there, exhausted, dying to talk to each other.

I always wonder what must be going on in the minds of the new couple at such a time.

They just started their life together; they just had a New Beginning. It is one of their most special day- the memories of which will stay with them forever- a day which will stand out to be the living proof of their love & compatibility- a day when they officially became “The Man & The Woman”.

On such a beautiful day, would they not be wanting to talk a few words with each other?

Tell each other that they feel lucky that this happened.

Wouldn’t the groom be dying to tell his newlywed “wife” that she is looking stunningly beautiful in that wedding attire?

Wouldn’t the bride be desperately wanting her “husband” to hold her hand as she takes this huge step in her completely new life?

Wouldn’t their families be wanting to spend some time with each other- as Indian Weddings have equal importance to parent-compatibility as well?

At such a sensitive time, they are surrounded by people- so many people- friends, family, distant relatives- even people whom they do not know or have never come across.

People- most of whom are least interested in the actual feelings of the couple.

People- most of whom would not even show their faces ever again.

People- most of whom will not stand by them, if the couple, whom they are wishing a happy life- ever face a difficulty later.

Isn’t this something we all should really think of? I am not saying we should not abide by our customs & religion. Neither am I saying that our happy days should not be shared with other people.

However, should we all also not see to it that on such occasions, the couple- who is about to start a new life, has their own sweet time as well?

It is a new beginning for them!

A new beginning- which will suddenly pour a whole lot of responsibilities over them.

A new beginning- which will be the founding stone of their relationship ahead. A new beginning- which will help them cross milestones ahead.

A new beginning- after which the groom will have over him the responsibility of a new life- the responsibility of keeping that person happy & place her needs before his own.

A new beginning- after which the bride will have over her the responsibility to stand by her husband, though thick & thin, & leave behind her childishness & her whole family.

A new beginning- after which the groom’s parents will have the responsibility of accepting & treating a completely new person- just as their own daughter.

A new beginning- after which the bride’s parents have to accept the fact that their daughter will not be just theirs anymore, & they will have to stay the rest of their life without her chirping voice around them.

So, would it not be more sensible if we gave them their space on the most important day of their lives?

Celebrations can take place any day- but special days come just once in a lifetime.