ILLUSION
It is such a beautiful day today. The
sun has just risen & from the window beside my bed, I can feel the sunbeams
on my face & hear the birds chirping
at a distance. I love such mornings where you feel so fresh.. So rejuvenated.
As I stretch my arms & get up from the bed to start my day, I momentarily
feel dizzy. As if everything just stopped for a moment there. But it passes soon
& I feel fresh yet again.
It is going to be a busy day. I have
to go to the supermarket & buy some groceries for my store. Oh I didn't
tell you that I have a restaurant- a vegan food joint named "The Breeze
Restauranto" - which is located in the heart of the town. I love the name
- it was something that had struck me suddenly, just like the idea of starting
up a food joint from my prize money. The joint grew with time & so did my
assets & cash flourish. I love managing it single handedly though.
As I freshen up & move to my
wardrobe, I am confused as what to wear. I pick up an outfit- a pair of denims
with a pink crop top- I have picked up the same outfit for the millionth time
now & I have no idea why. But I just cannot make myself wear anything but
that almost every alternate day... Not that pink is really my favorite.. But
Sometimes we have strange obsessions you see.
As I get dressed & head to the
market on my two wheeler, which needs some servicing since the last month - I
had almost had an accident a week back- I decide to myself to get it serviced
today at any cost.
I reach the market, start picking up
groceries- the spices, the sauces, the garnishees - oh & some lovely fresh
vegetables. I pick up a bottle of vinegar- idk why- but i just felt like picking
that up- maybe something to do with the new attractive packing the bottle had-
I knew in my head clear that I didn't need it- but alas I picked it up &
stacked it neatly in my trolley.
When I reached the billing counter, I
again had a momentary haze- as if everything suddenly stopped- as if I just
froze for the time- nothing happened, nothing moved- except for the constant
thinking of my brain. As soon as it came, it also vanished. Nobody looked
bothered or in fact, nobody had
experienced what I had - everybody was as normal as before. I wonder what has
been happening to me since the morning.
I pay the bills & leave the
store- in a rush- I was getting late to reach my taunto- yes that's what I
called my food joint lovingly...i loved the way "taunto" sounded- I
bumped into someone.
"Helloooo Jess!!", the
person murmured- & I had absolutely no idea who this was.
She was a fair petite girl, with long
black silky hair, wearing a dungree shorter than maybe my grocery bag. As I
struggled to recognize her, she continued, "Oh god Jessie... You did not
recognize me? Its me girl.. Amy!"
& I went into a shock. Amy??? Oh
my god Amy really? As much as I remembered, Amy was a short fat girl with brown
messy curls- always clad in those tomboyish cargos & tees. This was Amy??
My friend Amy?? How??!!!
Maybe she realized the conundrum in
my head & continued "yes sweetheart... I am the same Amy. But I was so
fed up of my look that I felt like trying something totally whacky here."
She said.
That's what people usually do. They
actually are something & they try to show something else to the world
whenever possible. Oh how I hate such two sided people.
"Hey listen, I m in a rush. Il
catch up with you later," saying which I literally rushed out of there
without even waiting for her response.
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‘Now, where is the broom?!’ I
murmured. I searched the entire cabinet but it was nowhere to be seen. I gave up
& went to the inner kitchen- got out some utensils & came back to the
main kitchen again- just to find the broom staring back at me- as if it was
always there.
How is that possible! I had searched
the entire kitchen 3 times & it was nowhere. How did it suddenly appear?!
This had happened with me a lot of times in the last few days. I would go
around looking for something, not find it, give up & come back in a moment
to find it just there.
"Am I going mad??" I thought out aloud.
"Oh yes, you are!" I heard
his voice.
Oh god why him. Why him of all the
people.
That was my best friend- more of a
pain in the ass- Roy. I hated him but yes he was still my best friend. He
annoyed the hell out of me everyday but at the end of it all, he was always
there when I needed him. My taunto wouldn't have been this good without his
help.
"Do you have no work Roy?"
I asked him.
"I have- & I am already
doing it efficiently my highness- & that's annoying you!" & he
burst out laughing.
Oh god that laugh of his. It was weirder
than a horse's laughter!
I decided to ignore him as he went on
with his rant about his latest girlfriend & how she hadn't let him kiss
her.
"She was smart that means!"
I replied.
"Jessssssss.. You are myyyyy
friend! Freakin' you are supposed to be on my side!" He wailed.
I suddenly had the nausea wave back
& everything stopped. This time I was very sure everything had halted. It
definitely had!
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As I open my eyes, I see the sun
beaming on my closed window.
I jolt upright. How was I here
again? Wasn't I working in the kitchen? With Roy wailing out my name? Ranting
about his gf?
I realised the last feeling of
everything pausing-the wave that I felt a lot of times these days- & now
here I was.
Had I dreamed it all?
I was sure it wasn't a dream. It was
all so real. Getting up, the grocery store, meeting Amy…everything. But I just
couldn't recollect anything after the pause that I had felt.
Hastily, I called up Roy & told
him what had happened.
"You must have dreamed of it
baby. I never came to you joint since the last 3 days."
"But I m so sureeee it
happened!"
"No babes it didn't. You must
have had a dream"
But I hadn't had a dream - that's
what I wanted to argue back but I decided against it.
I rushed back to my taunto- into the
main kitchen & thereee- I saw the grocery bag just as I had left it. With
the impulsively brought vinegar bottle.
Now I was paranoid. What had exactly
happened. Something was wrong but I didn't know what. As my mind was spinning
out of control, I again encountered the haziness- but in that I was still
working. Serving the people at the joint. Making burgers. But I wasn't doing
that. Rather I did not want to do any of it. I just wanted to sit down &
think about things. But I was doing it all- as if some external force
controlled me.
& that was when I decided to put
my step down & just stop. Not do anything at all. Whatever it was, I could
feel the urge, the force, making me step ahead- but I just did not. My brain
& my body was finally protesting- standing up for its own.
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Just to find myself waking up in the
same bed yet again.
What was really happening?!
As I drive out of my garage, I lose
control over my two-wheeler & crash into a truck.
Gasping for breath, I try to get up.
But I cannot. My brain is busy sending signals to my body to get up- stand up-
but my body just cannot.
"I do not want to die!" I
murmur- barely audible to anybody but me.
As I am still gasping for breath,
calling out for help, I realise there is nothing left to it. I realise this is
the end. This is where it all stops now.
Everything flashes before my eyes-
the monetary hazes, the un-understandable temptations, wearing the same clothes
even when not wanting to, finding back things not existing moments before, the
different Amy, the feeling that everything kept pausing in between , the
external forces, doing things I did not really want to do, the repeated
scenarios of getting up maybe 10 times the same day...& now, nobody helping
me as I lie here, blood soaked, gasping, begging for life.
Because it is the end. The game is
over.
Yes, the game is over.
I, Jess Mathew, 21 year old blonde
from Manhattan, a living character of "Second Life", has no life in reality.
My life was controlled by my gamer, my life was ruled by her whims.
My life was nothing, but an illusion.
(Information about the Game- Second Life- can be found here:- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Life)
Liked the way you conveyed that life is an illusion. :)
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