The Irony surrounding Female Education

The Irony surrounding Female Education

It was the festival of Ganesh Chaturthi. One of my favorite festivals! Favorite for various reasons. One being, the birthday of my favorite Ganu… Lord Ganesha, who comes to our abode over his cute Undir mama (mouse), & stays with us for a whole 10 days. The enthusiasm & liveliness in the air is an altogether different feeling. The whole atmosphere spells spirituality & purity. Another reason for it being my favorite festival is that- I get to wear new dresses each day & flaunt them! At my place, as well as to my friends places, as I usually pay them a visit for their Lord’s Darshan.

This year, we had decided to visit a lot of places on Ganesh Chaturthi. Getting a weekend at our hands, we had a lot of time this year, unlike the last one, when Ganesh Chaturthi had been on a Monday. So, on the second day of Ganpati, we left around 11AM from our place to visit some of my mom’s friends. Most of them having 1.5 day Ganpati only, we had placed them in the morning slot.

Each place that we paid a visit, we saw beautiful Ganpati Idols, well lit & exquisitely decorated. Also, at each place we got yummy pedhas- shaped in the form of Modaks. While some places we were also offered wafers or actual modkas as well!

After visiting around 4-5 people, we reached our building. There is this family that stays on the ground floor. Though they have a 5-day long Ganpati at their place, we decided to visit them, that day itself.

As we entered their residence, we were welcomed by a divine Ganesha idol, well seated on a table, with innumerable lights around Him. We took Darshan, & were given Prasaad of Sheera, which was placed on our hands by their daughter- similar to my age.

Being neighbors, we sat down for a while, & of course, a conversation started. The girl’s dad was talking with my dad about his job, while her mom with my mother- the topic being - that of their daughters’ education. They have 3 daughters & 1 son- the son being the youngest. The eldest daughter has completed her engineering, & is working now (Let’s name her Preeti). The 2^nd daughter is doing Chartered Accountancy, & is left with just one group to get the degree (Let’s name her Priya). The 3^rd daughter has just been enrolled for 12^th std-Science stream. I do not know about the guy.

As I was listening to the conversation, I heard her mom telling mother that Priya had appeared for CA Final exam in May, but got flunked in one group. Over which, my mom said, “That is still great! Congrats!! CA is really tough! Itna hua is also worth it!”

“But what use! It has actually become a problem. If she had cleared both the groups toh acha hota. Now that she flunked in one, we will have to pay those fees again. Kharcha badh jata hai bina matlab ka! We need to save for her wedding too!”

“It’s alright. Once she is done with it, you shall be really proud of her! & she will earn really well!”

“Haa par shaadi ka kharcha toh hume hi karna padega. One daughter’s marriage costs around 4-5 lakhs in our comuunity. We toh have 3 daughters! Kese hoga sab! Upprase inko itna padhna hai!”

“Arre, thik hai! Aajkal sab padhte hai itna toh!”

“Ya. … but not just that, itna sikh k karegi kya?!”

“No no... Education is so important these days! The more you do the better!”

“Nahi ji… Itna padhegi toh shaadi kese hogi iski?!”

My mom just smiled & said, “Oh!”

Over which her mother continued, “Ab dekho naa... Preeti did engineering, & has a job. But what use. Shaadi hi nahi ho rahi. We cannot find any guy in our community who is more educated than her. & the guys who are as educated as her, they are not ready to marry her as they feel the girl should be less educated than them. Upparse ye job bhi karti hai. Job karne wali ladki toh kisiko nai chaiye.”

My mom replied, “Oh! But usually these days guys & their families want a girl who has a job. Hamare me ulta hota hai. Not well educated or no job, toh shadi nahi hoti jaldi. They want independent girls!”

Over which she replied, “Haa, par humare me aisa nahi hota. The more educated a girl is, the less rishtaas she gets. We have been searching for a groom as educated as Preeti since a year now, but we can’t find one. We found a guy who was engineering drop-out, but our daughter isn’t ready to marry him, as her expectation is that the guy should at least be as educated as her, if not more. Neither is she ready to leave her job, as even that might help us in finding a few more guys.”

She continued, “Even Priya is studying so much, CA & all. We tell her itna padha is enough. Why more. Later, even her marriage will be a problem. But she doesn’t listen to us! Ab kaun samjhaye in ladkiyo ko ki shaadi kitni jarurai hai. Padhai ka kya hai itna.”

The conversation ended their, as a few more guests arrived at their place. While leaving, my mom just said “Let her study as much as she wants. All your kids are really smart. They have got so many awards. Let them do what they wish.”

Over which, her mother just smiled, being clearly un-convinced.

However, the conversation put my brain cells to work. Is that how the situation is till date? After 68 years of Independence? After so many Women’s Days? After so many speeches on “Mulgi Shikli, Pragati Jhaali…”? (Educating a girl leads to progress).

At one beginning, we see the overtly competitive world, where no matter how much you achieve, its less. Where our parents encourage us to study more, are ready to sweat out & take loans, just for the sake of our education. Where we clearly warn our parents, saying, “no marriage till I am well settled”, & they easily agree to it. While just at the other end, there are people who live in an exactly opposite scenario.

While I am telling my mother about my future aspirations for an Ll.M, she proudly beams “yes yes! Do it!”; at the same time, in a flat beneath us is a daughter who pleads her mother, “Let me please complete my last level of CA!”; & her mother winces, pushing towards her a B.com graduates’ photograph as her marriage proposal.

While I am an average girl, whose fees are paid by her parents; she is a girl who has completed most of her education on scholarships.

While my boyfriend’s mother tells me “Go ahead with whatever you want! You have to work! Job is really important!”; at the same time, there is a mother of a guy who just rejected another girl for the reason that she is working & independent!

With all the progress in the field of women education, we still have a lot more to go! We have made a considerable progress undoubtedly, but what we see is a just a molehill. The mountain is yet to be won!

& this is an eye-opener situation in a Metro city like Mumbai. My heart wrenches thinking about the scenario in the un-spoken villages.

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(P.S. While researching for some facts about Women Education in India, I came across this beautiful article/ presentation, which I would love to share with you all.

 You can go through this striking piece- the entire, uncut presentation by clicking the link here:- http://www.confabjournals.com/confabjournals/images/6520138351219.pdf

Do read it! )

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(Disclaimer:- The article is not intended to hurt anybody’s sentiments or feelings.

The views & opinions expressed above are a thought process of the writer.

Though the article is a reality-based one, it is to be taken in a sense of an objective oriented writing- the issue of female education- & thus might be including some hypothetical statements & contrasting extremes for greater clarity.

Consists hypothetical assumptions.)

(Image Source:- The Image Source has been entirely Google Images. If by chance I have copied any specific symbol/ icon/ logo/ photograph, please be assured that copyright infringement wasn't intended. )