THIS THING WE CALL "LOVE"…

THIS THING WE CALL LOVE…

Why do we find it so hard to accept love? To confess love?

Isn’t it supposed to be a positive emotion?

I have seen people flip out the moment a person expresses their love towards them. I have done it too. Freaking out, only because someone said they loved me. This is so strange, isn’t it? It is like we millennials do not want to get entangled into this beautiful mess that is called love. It’s always “too much” or “too fast”. We keep saying things like we aren’t ready for love or we do not have the time for love; but is that going to change, ever? Rather, do we really want that to change?

Equally, we are also scared to fall in love or express the love that we have. We try to constantly keep our feelings in check, under control, trying to fit it & limit it within boundaries. All this, only because we fear getting hurt. We fear vulnerability. We fear endings. We carry the weights of our pasts. We think of the negative “what if’s” even before there’s a reason to.

I have seen people who would love to be in relationships, yet are not, only because they fear intimacy. Because they fear commitment. Because along with all the wonderful feelings, love also brings with it compromises and adjustments. It also brings with it the need to put someone else before you. & we, as a generation, are scared of it.

Yes, scared is the word.

We are all so scared of love. Scared to love. Love- which is supposed to be the easiest & the most stimulating feeling ever. Love- which is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Love- which is supposed to make your life better, make the problems appear smaller. Love- the only thing that can make you feel complete.

It is funny how we flip out, try to find reasons & over analyze everything if someone says “I love you”. But we wouldn’t bat an eyelid if a person said “I hate you”.

Why is love so hard to accept? Why is it so messed up? Or is it, really? Maybe we have messed it up by our over analyzing skills. We are constantly stuck between “what if it’s not the right one” and “what if it is the right one”, that we prefer to stay in the middle- where things are easier. Yes, we tend to take the easier way out.

But that’s not how love works. You can fall for any random person, anytime. Love doesn’t make you worry about her past or about his financial stability. It is an all accepting feeling.

When you look across a crowded room and see him there- the relief that washes over you is love.

When after a tough long day, you listen to her voice- that momentary ease you feel is love.

When he reaches out to hold your hand while you’re crossing roads- that’s love.

When she keeps checking on you, even after you’ve had a fight- that’s love.

When you can talk about anything & everything; but also when the silence is as comfortable- that is love.

When you hold her/ him close to you, & that very moment, for that tiny instant there the world feels just about right- that is love.

It was so much simpler in the good old days. I do not think the previous generations were so messed up or so confused about love. Why can’t we be like that? We keep looking for everything in a partner- looks, personality, sense of humor, sexual compatibility, family values, career, past- everything. & we over analyze everything, with our first instinct being- to find a fault somewhere. & when we cannot find any fault, we try to look for reasons beyond. We look for a perfect love story, a fairy tale life. But we can never find it, because love is not a story book. It is always going to be a lot of work, but in the end it will all be worth it, because that’s how love is.

Love is a beautiful feeling. It is the only thing that gives you strength, the only thing that has the capacity to make you feel even so slightly better in this crooked world. But here we are, fighting against it, avoiding it, running away from it as much & as far as we can. 

But we cannot run from it forever, for Love is a short word but the most important one.

For love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.