International Women's Day

International Women's Day

Every year we celebrate women’s day with a lot of enthusiasm and fanfare. International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 worldwide, commemorating the political, social and economic achievements of women. Over the decades, the objective of Women’s Day celebration has evolved and embraced culture and ethnicity to emerge as a celebration of appreciation, respect and love towards women. 

On International Day for Women, huge sentiments are expressed about the power of women and many proverbs and poems are directed towards us. It is really nice to have a special day for yourself where you are glorified to a point of being dazed, honored, awarded etc.

On this specific day, women are put on the stage and felicitated by everyone, for being the women that they are, for portraying the immense strength and sacrifice throughout, and for reaching new levels of epitome, success and grandeur with each passing year.

Every year, every Women’s Day, we speak ferociously about gender equality. How both the men and the women are equals and should be treated equally. How there is nothing that the women cannot do that the men can. However it is a sad state of affairs when we see the reality of the situation in light. We love to boast about the level of gender equality that we have all achieved, which is of course, remarkable compared to what we had until a few years back. However, is it really yet “equality” to say the least? I still see women struggling to reach a certain basic point in life, in comparison to their male counter parts. I still hear so many incidents, so many industries where women aren’t given an equal and a fair share, for no other reason than specifically because they are women.

Even today, a woman is expected to stick to the age old conventions of woman hood. She is supposed to have it all together. She has to be a responsible daughter, an excellent housewife, a multi-tasking daughter in law; all the while juggling with an equal work pressure just as her husband or her father probably. Though I agree that the situation is changing and the men are turning a lot more understanding, there still are about 80% of them who would prefer their wife struggling and juggling between work and home. Why just men, even women to say the least. Even today, I hear so many incidents where the mother-in-law still puts all the onus of managing the work-home balance expressly on her daughter-in-law, and not her son. 

Why, you ask? Why, when both of them work for 9 hours every day? Well, the answer is simple. Because she is a woman.  

'Gender equality', you said?

This leads me to another very prominent term these days. “Feminism”. We cannot not talk about feminism when we talk about gender equality. First of all, let me clear what feminism actually means, for I have seen so many people- both men and women confuse the term. Feminism means the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Simply, Feminism is about equality and not the idea of women being greater than men. It also does not mean that you need to show men down. Or you need to argue over every chivalrous act of a man and call it anti-feminist. Feminism is simply a movement, where you do not consider a woman below a man just because she is a woman; where you appreciate & accept her strength. As simple as that! I have heard so many jokes over feminism recently, I have literally cringed at the notions people have about the concept.

We have been celebrating Women’s Day for so many years now. We all talk highly about the women, wish them on this day; make them feel respected, loved and cherished.

However, it really saddens me to say that most of us are pretentious when it comes to such occasions.

Let me recount a situation. We have a neighbor who has a daughter, a CA. She wanted to study further, however her parents did not allow her to, for if she is excessively educated, she would not get a better groom; and what’s the purpose of so much education anyway when "you ultimately have to be a house wife".

Yes, that’s a true story, & yes such things still happen even in cities like Bombay. So many girls aren’t allowed to study as they desire for the fear of not finding a suitable groom, as if “finding a groom” is the basic purpose of life and achieving salvation! So many women are told to give up their jobs after marriage, for “taking care of the house is a full time job”. So many women are burdened with the responsibility of quitting their jobs after childbirth, for what can be more important to a woman than her child. Why, even conceiving a child is not entirely her choice, I would say, though its HER body. 

For we are the hypocrites who give more importance to the society than to the wishes and dreams of our own daughters and wives.

"...

“You haven’t conceived a child yet? It’s been 4 years into your marriage! What’s wrong with you?”

“You cannot stay out after 11 PM. That is so late for a girl. How can you even ask that?”

“Oh, she is always hanging out with those 3 guys, alone. She definitely must be chaalu”

“She is already the Manager! I wonder what she did in order to reach up there so fast!”

“Oh my God, you cannot cook yet? What will your in-laws think of you & your family?”

“You drink and smoke so much! You are a girl, you shouldn’t be doing these things!”

“How much more do you intend to study? What is the point when you ultimately have to place your marriage and family first!”

“You read about that rape case? These girls wear such provocative dresses. these days! What is wrong with them?” ..."

Such and so many more questions, still thrown at the women. So many responsibilities, so many restrictions; so many tags given and so many faults found. It is always HER, isn’t it?

And then we celebrate these days- this Women’s Day on every 8^th of March, every single year, diligently; where we talk about how we have progressed and how each one of us respects the women all over. Like I said, most of us are pretentious hypocrites, aren’t we?

We need to stop pulling women down, expecting the same things we did from them, since ages. Women have excelled in every area of life, and are reaching tremendous heights every passing day. Stop trying to put them in a mold, trying to make clones out of them- efficient, standard, factorized clones, who would tend to your age old conventions and needs.

I wouldn’t say that only the men are responsible for this, for I see so many women judging other women, being mean towards them, trying to standardize them into the factory made products, burdening them with societal pressures, pulling them down and trying to place the woman at fault, no matter what the situation is.

It really pains me to see when a woman goes out with her friends to celebrate women’s day, but to do so, has to previously obtain a “permission” from her husband for the same. When, after spending a certain amount on a celebration has to go back and account for each and every penny spent. Irony, isn’t it?

Women’s Day shouldn’t only be about celebrating women and making them feel special on that one single day. It has to be a consistent process.

Small things like encouraging your daughter to find her dreams; appreciating the efforts and helping your wife at home, letting her take some important decisions; treating all children equal; making your girlfriend believe in herself and increase her self-confidence; making a woman feel safe; respecting her & her opinions; letting a friend be herself and other such considerate gestures shown to women at the very basic level, will impact the Society tremendously more than any superfluous women’s day celebration will.

So all you women out there, go ahead. Pursue your dreams. Get that degree. Work your ass off, no matter how many excessive hours you have to put in. Wear whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. Hang out with whoever you wish to. There is nothing that you cannot achieve. There is nothing that you cannot overcome. & there is no responsibility that you cannot handle.

& most of all, believe in you. For you are a special soul who is blessed with great power and strength, it is just about going out there and doing it. 

You are the one who can literally create life inside you and support it; you can most definitely create your own path and lead the life you deserve.

You are a WOMAN, trust me- you can fly; it’s only a matter of time until you find your invisible wings and sour to great heights!

Happy Women's Day, all!