The Blank Canvas: A Valentine's Day Story: Love

A VALENTINE'S DAY STORY: LOVE

It is Valentine's Day today.

It is obvious from the surrounding- the air is full of love.

On my walk, as I pass across an Archie's store, I see it decorated with various shades of reds. Lots of hearts & chocolates adorn the display. It all looks so cute! I am tempted to go inside the store, but I don't. As I cross a few more yards, I see a young couple- probably in their twenties- drenched in their new found love. Their happy and blushing faces put a smile across my face instantly. The guy reaches out to hold the girl's hand, and the girl smiles wider. Love is such a beautiful thing.

As I complete my walk- a long one- I have put on some weight recently & my girlfriend hates it when my fat blobs show up through my clothing- as I reach my house, I see a balloon-man selling heart shaped balloons. He asks me to buy some. When I say no, he says "le lo na Saab.. Madam ko accha lagega". I smile at that & buy some 5 balloons from him- all in the shape of hearts in red & pink. Khushi has always loved balloons.

As I reach home, I remember the good old days - not that I am too old- I am just 28- but yes the good old days which were just a few years back. When there was a lot to do, a lot to be achieved- a lot of dreams and a lot of desires.

I faintly remember when I was in my twelfth- that was the first time I had taken note of valentines day. My best friend had a new girlfriend, & he asked me for a gift idea. I always sucked in these matters & just shrugged my shoulders. For me, v-day was nothing but a usual ordinary day.

Things changed when I was in my second year of college. This year, I had a girlfriend. & just like every girl I have known, she was very excited for the valentines day, it being our first one together. We met up, went for a drive, a dinner & back home. She gave me a hand made card and I gave her roses. I still remember every detail of that day. The way she walked in. What was she wearing. How she blushed when I bent down to give her a peck. Her scent. Her hair on my face. Every single thing.

After that, days and years passed. Though we stuck by every year, the valentines days just kept passing away year after year. Every year she would be excited for it, & every year something would crop up.

Today when I look back, I realise how many valentine days we missed expressly because i was so busy, year after year, trying to achieve my dreams. Not that she ever complained.

Eventually, both of us got busy in our lives- even more with the increased set of responsibilities. Both of us had our work commitments, family commitments and not to mention the everyday errands we needed to do as adults now.

Our love for each other kept growing with each passing day. We kept getting closer & more comfortable with each other. We understood each other like no one else & we knew we always had the other to our back.

But there was just so much happening in life. I was getting promotions & climbing the ladder of success with great speed. So was she progressing on her fronts. But I guess the only thing that differed between us was, the ability to draw out time for love. While she made it a point to give me & us certain time, I failed to do so. A lot of times I would commit & then fail to stand up to it. But, she hardly complained. & when she did, I always hated it.

I still remember that day 2 years back. It was 13th February.

At around 8 AM , I got a call from her.

"Hello".. I answered drowsily

"Good Morning my babyyy. You're still sleeping?"

"Yeaa.. Just woke up. Say"

"Ooh.. So sorry I woke you up."

"No no... It's fine."

"You know what date is it tomorrow?" She asked with a sudden enthusiasm

Being completely blank about the date, I started thinking what was it that had drawn up this early morning quiz.

"Hello?? Jaanu???"

I realised I hadn't spoken a word. "Err... Mmm.. What's the date today?"

"It's 13 February today!"

"Oh ok. So its 14th Feb tomorrow. Yea."

"Yes. Annddd...?"

"&?? & what?"

"Kya hai kal???"

I tried & failed to remember any upcoming event or a birthday or an anniversary.

"Arre its valentines day na tomorrow!" She wailed

"Oh! Oh yes. Valentines."

"I was thinking, lets go out somewhere. We haven't celebrated valentines day since ages now!"

"Umm.. Ya. We will. I'll make reservations at Et Resoto for tomorrow night."

"Mmm.. OK. But I want more time with you. Lets meet in the evening naa."

"Not possible. I have an important meeting. Cant avoid it."

"Pleaseeee... I really want to celebrate it this time. U always alwaysss have work on valentines. No excuses tomorrow"

"You think I am giving excuses??? I have been working like crazy. & you think I am giving you an excuse?"

"Why are you getting angry? I should be the angry one."

"Yeah right. I slog like hell. I have a promotion due. & my girlfriend wants me to blow it all up for a stupid valentines day that comes up every year."

After a few moments she replied, "I'll wait for you at the marine drive around 7 pm tomorrow. Is 7 fine?"

"Yes. Thank you"

She disconnected the phone. I knew I had pissed her off, but I did not have time to bother about it then. I had a meeting to attend- & to lick my boss's ass for the promotion.

The next day went by in mad rush. Pleasing the client was getting tougher than pleasing ten upset girlfriends.

At precisely 6.30 PM, I got a text message that read "I have left from home. Will reach by 7."

Looking at the mountain of work that had just piled up, I knew I wouldn't be able to make it by 7. But if I told her this right now, she would get angrier. & in no way could I leave this work too.

After a while- I don't know how much- my phone started beeping. I picked it up.

"Where are you? I have reached around ten minutes back."

"So sorry baby. Too much work. But I'll be there ASAP."

After a while, my phone beeped again, which drew a snarl from my boss.

"Hello" I whispered

"Where are you? I have been waiting since half an hour now! If you couldn't make it at 7, you should have told me when I left!", she said sounding terribly annoyed by now.

"I had told you there will be work. Why don't you understand. I have a promotion due. Abhi kaam chodke aaunga toh problem hoga. & I m saying na.. Just give me half an hour more, I'll definitely be there. Promise."

I don't know how long passed, before my phone rang again. I knew it would be her & I just disconnected it.

When it resumed ringing again, I picked it up & shouted "Can't you just wait for a fucking 30 minutes more??"

"Hello? Hello. Is this Rohan?" A male voice asked from the other end.

"Yes... Who is this? How do you have this phone??" I said feeling a strange tug.

"Hello. Yea. Actually yaha ek accident ho gaya hai. Unke phone pe ye last dialed number tha isliye call kia aapko. Unko City Hospital leke jaa rahe hai."

The world around me swung in fast motion. The next thing I knew, I was running out of the office, praying to every God I knew.

All that happened next, still seems like a dream- a horrible nightmare.

Its been three years now since Khushi left me - & every day, I regret for not making it up that evening. If only I had reached on time, Khushi would have been with me today. If only I had given her time- I would be having more of her than I am left with now. If only I had known, like her, where to draw the line between my professional goals & my personal life... If only.... But no matter how many ifs I realise now, I have lost my Khushi & I miss her every living day.

As I look at the balloons I just bought, I realise people we love are just like these.

At times we all get so carried away in our professional lives, our goals, our ambitions- that we forget how equally, rather more important it is to make time for the people we love.

And just like a balloon needs to be held or tied up, we need to hold on to our loved ones with time, effort & love. Lest they will go - just like a balloon flies away- to never come back to you again.

It's Valentines Day today. I tie down the heart shaped balloon to a nail on the wall- just next to Khushi's frame. Like I said, she always loved balloons.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Khushi. I love you. Forever"

(P.S. All of you out there, make it a point to give time to your loved ones. Days like Valentines offer you an even better opportunity to make time and express your love to the love of your life.

A very Happy and Love- filled Valentines Day to all!)