THE JANMASHTAMI I NEVER FORGOT

THE JANMASHTAMI I NEVER FORGOT

Janmashtami. The day of Lord Krishna’s birth as celebrated all over India. 

Every year, on the eve & the day of Janmashtami, devotees visit the temples of Lord Krishna which are adorned with lovely decorations- right from numerous flowers, hangings of Images of Krishna's infancy and booming with prayers and songs about Lord Krishna. At homes, people celebrate the birth of the blue lord by worshiping his Idol, and making Prasad from the Lord’s favorite Maakhan.

Janmashtami is usually celebrated in the majority of the states by fasting, worshiping Krishna and staying up until midnight, and offering prayers at a special time- when Krishna is believed to have been born.

Krishna is one of my favorite God. Something about his smile and his posture- slightly tilting with a flute in his hand- all seems inviting. For some reason, you do not feel awed or scared of Krishna. You just feel instantly at ease, instantly at peace with your inner self.

Since Krishna has been one of my favorite Lord, Janmashtami has always been an exciting festival. Every year, I go out, buy new tiny clothes and jewelry for my beloved Krishna, buy the most beautiful flowers and the most perfect Tulsi leaves to adorn him. I dress him in the new clothes and spray the best scent; placing him in the Jhula, with the softest cushion, and decorating the same with some of the best smelling flowers.

I have a lot of great memories of this festival. In Maharashtra, we celebrate Janmashtami, popularly by way of Dahi Handi. Mostly as I have seen, on the eve of Dahi Handi, people celebrate the Lord’s birth by staying up until late, worshiping Krishna; singing dancing and awaiting the birth of the Lord that everyone loves to love.

Amongst all these memories of Janmashtami; one memory has always stuck through. A dark memory, actually.

On one such Janmashtami; we had to carry out the tedious process of shifting our Library to a new shop (yes, we own one). The next day being Dahi Handi, a holy day, it was supposed to be an opening of our library at the new place. So we (I, and my mom dad) had to possibly complete all the required work of arranging the books on that eve itself. By the time we were done with all the work, it was quite late in the night, well past 12.30 AM.

As we left for home on our scooter- we had an Old Bajaj scooter and we used to go the standard cfamily triple seat style'- with mom and dad; and I sitting (& stooping) at the front. Being Janmashtami, it was raining cats and dogs. There was a lot of thundering and lightning, and the rain was falling incessantly.

As we set out, laughing and talking loudly about the coming day, we were suddenly encountered by a lady. When I think of it now, I cannot remember where she came from. I do not recollect seeing her approaching; just one moment we were talking and zooming on the road, and the next moment- she was there- right in front of our scooter. She was soaked head to toe in the rain; hair disheveled, with no chappals on her feet. She must have been in her thirties. Her face was stricken with terror, and her eyes held distress like I had never seen. Even in the pouring rain, I could make out that she was crying.

She came right in front of our scooter and started pleading with joint hands; “Help. Please help me!!!”

My dad stopped the Scooter, not knowing what to do. Then my mom said something to dad about moving ahead and not waiting. I honestly do not recollect what she said, because my gaze was transfixed on the lady. She looked so helpless, so panic stricken; so pleading- like we were just the one ray of hope that probably the Lord had sent on his birth-day. But then, we sped past her- murmuring something like a sorry- I don’t know if we really said sorry, but in the depths of my imagination, we did. As we sped past, I turned around to look even though mom shouted not to, I saw her running, a speeding car following her, and then heard a scream. Dad sped the way to home at a speed like he never had.

As we reached home, mom and dad told me to not say anything about it to granny. I nodded.

We never really spoke about that for years. But every Janmashtami, all three of us sure remembered that horrid incident. When I turned 15, I once asked my mom why hadn’t we stopped and why hadn’t we helped her. To which my mom said that ‘it was risky, we were just two people with a daughter, barely 13. What if those people did something to us; worse, to you. They were more in number. We couldn’t risk our and especially your entire life for that. And there probably wasn’t anything we could really have done.”

I let that pass. Where I do partially agree with my mother’s justification, it did not set my soul to peace. She was probably right in her own way- being the mother she is. But was it really right as a person?

After that, I have had this debate a lot of times- with my parents, as well as with my own self. Why hadn’t we helped that poor lady? How could we have possibly helped her? Was my mom really right with her justification? Even if she was, is that how we are supposed to be? And the biggest question, would I also have had a similar response had I been in my mother’s place? 

I do not have the answers to these questions. 

Maybe there was no way to help that lady- in the midst of the night, with no one around but just we three; being probably (& clearly) outnumbered by the people in the car. OR maybe we could have helped or at least tried to do something. Maybe we could have passed a bit farther and called up the police. I really don’t know.

The memory of that lady haunts me till date. No Janmashtami goes by without my mind going back to the memory of that horrid incident, and the forlorn debate that erupts in my mind every single year.

I feel saddened by that memory- those pleading eyes haunt the back of my mind and every year on Janmashtami, I silently bow my head wondering if the Lady has forgiven us for not helping her then. 

The memory is in the deep recesses of my pre-teen mind, and that mind likes to think that the lady probably did get help that night; that Lord Krishna did come down on his birth-night and protected her from the monsters. 

And I also really hope that Lord Krishna did forgive us, for the crime we did or did not commit. 

YES, IT'S EQUALITY!

Yes, Its "Equality"!

Just recently, I lost my blazer. Being a lawyer, a black blazer is something that is very important to me. Having lost it, I needed a new one. So I & my mom decided to go shopping at Vashi & also get a new Blazer for me.

We reached Vashi, & went to Central. Yes, Central - the famous clothing store. I told the person in charge there that I needed a black blazer for myself. He pointed me towards a section. They had a stock of WL blazers. I went through them, but they all were ill fitting for me. All of you who have worn blazers must be aware of the fact that a proper well fitting blazer is a real complicated search. As I did not find any of them suitable, I shifted to another counter- PA. Now that's a well known formal brand. I pulled out a medium sized blazer, just to find out that it was a short one. Putting it straight, it wasn't a "professional blazer" blazer, it was a "stylish blazer" blazer. Like these days, women wear strappy shirts & tacky palazzos as formal wear. Yeah, that kind of Blazer. & hence I once again moved to the next counter. Though I forgot the Brand name now, but it only had navy blue colored blazers. None in black. & I needed a black one only. I asked the helper if there were any more & he sheepishly told me they did not have any more. As I was leaving Central, I realized they had more of party wear than formal wear. Now I am a regular shopper at Central & I love it. I wouldn't say they do not have good formal wear- they have great ones! However it always appears very dumb to me that they stack same kinda lots for a period. Once you go, you will find all formals. The next time if you go for formals shopping, you'll find 80% party wear. Next time, maybe something else. When you have a multi-brand store, shouldn't you logically stack all season clothes in similar proportions?

Anyways, being disappointed, we moved to another mall. We went to another Shoppers' "destination" & the helper showed me one stack of blazers- which had only 4-5 pieces- in dark blackish blue only. I tried out one thinking why not buy one anyways. As I tried it on, I realized it was a large size & hence told the helper to give me a medium size. He went through the stack & informed me (yes again sheepishly) that they did not have a medium size. Honestly, I felt like burning it all down. I mean how can you not have all sizes in a simple blazer!!! First- you do not have any varieties. Second, you do not have colors. Third, you don't even have all freakin’ sizes. & then you claim to be one of the biggest shopping destination!

Huffing, I left from there & went to a Park Avenue Store. The ladies section had few blazers- & to my bad luck, it was totally ill fitting for me, given my stature. I am a short heighted person- 5'2". All through my life, I have been altering clothes because none measure up adequately to my short height. Be it jeans, long sleeved tops, pyjamas, kurtis- I have to always cut them out because all of them are immensely long. At times I really wonder- when 70% of the ordinary Indian Women have a height in the range of 5' to 5'5",why are the clothes designed for women who would be over 5'5". Indian Society really needs to get out of the rut!

As I miserably wandered through the three-storey-ed mall, I realized there were umpteen number of stores displaying formal wears. Lines & lines of Shirts, stacks & stacks of trousers, shelves full of various colored & styled blazers. But to my shock- all of them were Mens' Wear. For a moment there, I really really lost my cool. The mall had innumerable stores flashing innumerable formal wears- all men. And the mall also had innumerable stores flashing innumerable saarees, tank tops & kurtis- for women. Is that how it is?? Is it that women just wear flashy Anarkalis & halter tops, while men just wear formals? Do women not wear complete formals & men not wear party-wear jazzy tee-shirts?'

No. That's not how it is.

Almost seventy per cent of the women today go out & work. They go out into the world- they work in corporate- they deal with clients & THEY DO IT WEARING FORMAL WEAR. Not some jazzy flashy clothes. Shouldn't stores have a bit more formal variety for women as well & be at least a bit equal with men? Isn't it the need of the hour?

I bet, had there been a guy at my place, he would have found a blazer for himself in ten minutes. But I did not. Because I am a girl. I don't have much option when it comes to blazers. Because I am more supposed to wear a f****g anarkali than a professional blazer.

I accept it is not a very bad state- we women do find good formal wears. But not like the men!

I feel the problem might be two sided.

One, maybe the society still hasn't progressed to the speed where it sees women in as much need of formals as men. Maybe they still see the working woman clad in India Formals only. Thinking of that, it makes me go through all the working women I know- aunties, as well as my friends. & I agree, many of them do wear Indian Formals. But a lot don't. Especially not the ones from my- going back to my previous- generations. Oh & by the way, none of them wear anarkalis or tube tops to offices!

Once during an exam, the portion we had was divided in the ratio of 80:20 as would be appearing in the examination question paper. Most of us left out the 20% part thinking "itnasa toh hai...kya jarurat hai. Bus uppar se ek read maar lenge".

Standing there, looking at the glaring difference, I remembered that same incident. It felt like I had been pushed into the 20% slot & it didn't really matter to others as much to consider it.

The second aspect might be that Women in their quest for style & fashion have broadened the horizons of "formal" wear to the extent that nobody really knows if a piece of clothing is formal or casual or semi. Wearing printed palazzo, or wearing a deep-neck collar top- girls, that is not formal wear. You can spare a bit of fashion for the corporate at least. Not that you needn't be fashionable. But at least stick to the corporate standards. Otherwise there would be a day when a salesman at a shop shows you a backless top with a stringed collar as formal wear. Like the blazer that I saw- it was more like a crop- blazer!!! What next? Crop tops to office??

& as for the horrible experience of finding a simple black medium sized blazer- I would like to assume Navi Mumbai still is tad backward when it thinks of corporate women. I hope that's not the case everywhere. I hope everywhere the malls aren't stacked with tonnes of men's formal wear but only spares of women formal wear. & I badly hope that malls in other vicinities aren't literally divided into formals for men & jazzy for women.

Because it is high time that people stop stereotyping women into wearing only sexy party wear or flashy traditional clothes majorly.

Though I eventually after a lot of struggle did find a good blazer, the sourness of "Gender EQUALITY" has left its taste on my tongue. 

(P.S. Yes, the name of the Post is Sarcasm!)

(Disclaimer: Brand Names have not been used. References to any names that may have occurred in the Post are non-suggestive. The names are hypothetical and imaginative, bearing no resemblance to any fashion Brand. 
Images are taken from Google Images.)

The Fear Stays

The Fear Stays

Its a Monday. I just left from office & took a cab. As it appears, there is a lot of traffic today- I don't understand the reason as to why are Mondays always so overly crowded. The roads, the trains, the cab lines- everything is hilariously crowded.

As the cab halts at yet another signal, I check the time & realise its going to take long. I debate whether I should get down & run- to get the usual train; or should I try my luck. Being too tired to run a distance of 3 minutes, I decide I’ll better take the next train.

As I get into the train after walking peacefully to the station, I see to my surprise that it is not really crowded. As I settle down at the Window Seat & take out a book to read- a Nicholas Sparks love story that has engrossed me a lot recently, I hear a lady asking me where will I get down. For a moment I wonder why does she need to know- the train is hardly packed. She asks it also to the lady beside me, after which she settles down on the third seat.

She appears to be those extra friendly & extra talkative people who just have to speak random stuff with random strangers. Soon, she takes out her mobile phone & a battery.

I wonder why is the battery separated from the phone. The lady then speaks something with the woman beside me, telling her that she does not know how to put the battery into the phone. Which surprises me. I mean she surely doesn't look like a woman who wouldn't know how to open a phone & put the battery back in. That too, an old Nokia piece. The lady beside me takes the phone, opens it & puts the battery in. The woman tells her to restart the phone. All this while, I am actually pretty surprised. I mean in this age who does not know all this? & judging by her looks- definitely not people like her. She further asks the lady to dial some number- which of course, doesn't get connected.

Now I feel panicky. I know its strange but yes, for a moment there I feel sudden panic. My mind goes haywire with random thoughts. What if this woman is a wrong person? What if she knows everything but is just acting innocent? What if she is some terrorist? We have all seen in the movies how terrorists blow away things by pressing a phone button. My mind contemplates & then reminds itself of the attacks that recently occurred in Punjab and how Mumbai has been put on an alert.

My mind, now spinning out of control, starts framing things. What if something like this happens? What then? Being overtly sufficient, my brain also recollects all the previous train bombings- the times, the places, the horrendous news & the stories.

The brain- truly imaginative to its character- starts thinking about the hows & ifs & then's. What will happen.. What will happen to me.. How will the police interrogate in the tragedy.. & how soon? Will they catch hold of her?  If the police ask me about the lady, how will i describe her..  What will the newspapers publish.. Will they do a story on me with those picky lines like ‘how a girl took a different train than her usual one...’

As my mind continues to spin out of control, the phone woman- that's what I have named her- gets up. As I tilt my head to see her, she gets down at the station & leaves. I let out a sigh of relief.

Now that I am not paranoid, my brain decides to work logically & makes me think of how stupid I was. It was just a lady & it drew me thinking weird things.

But then what do I do? Whatever I have seen in the past & in the recent, it is scary. The way Mumbai has faced terror attacks- so many times- though I never recall it in my sane state, the fear stays. Somewhere at the back of the subconscious mind- the memories- the second degree memories & I call it that because I never lost any loved one there- they scare me. What happened, how & the after effects- both on the survivors as well as the general public haunts me. & at such instances, it surfaces up.

I am sure I am not the only one. We all have this fear deep down, buried inside us which we never show. But its there. It is very much there. The ghastly memories of 7/11 train bombing (11 July, 2006 Mumbai train bombings).... The horrifying memories of 13/7 (13 July, 2011 Mumbai bombings)... The traumatizing memories of 26/11 terrorist attacks (26 November, 2008 Mumbai Terror Attacks) though buried inside, are still fresh. I do not think any Mumbaikar will ever forget them or ever get over the fear.

Mumbai- the city that never sleeps. Mumbai- the city that always runs. Mumbai- the city that gets up & continues to buzz day after day even after being traumatized. The spirit of Mumbai, as it is said.

Yes, the spirit of Mumbai. The spirit to bury our fears deep inside & face the world everyday with belief & faith. The spirit to keep going.

We are not people who do not feel the fear. We have it running inside us everyday- every time we spot an unclaimed bag- Every time we see a suspicious person. But we decide against succumbing to our fears & instead get up & live with the belief that such things wont happen again. But the fear- its always there.

Like it is said, pushing the skeletons inside the wardrobe doesn't make them dissapear- they are still there. & our fears are just like the skeletons. Not visible, but very much there.

Mumbai- we love you.

Mumbaikars- we salute you.

(No intentions to  hurt any sentiments by the use of the word "Bombay" in the .gif image. 

Images Source: https://www.google.co.in/imghp?hl=en&tab=wi&ei=bXK4VfvUHoaUuASU9KDgAw&ved=0CBIQqi4oAQ) 

[Disclaimer: The places and incidents mentioned in the blog (except the incidents mentioned as 26/11, 13/7 & 7/11 and Punjab attacks) bear no resemblance to any person living or dead ; or action or incidence, or any other occurrence. The piece is purely a work of fiction.]

Priya's Story

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The Economic Disparity

The Economic Disparity- the hard way...

I am a law student. I am in the last year of law. & I am also interning at the present. During my internship, I need to visit the civil courts or the high court at times, either for submissions or obtaining statuses or receiving copies.

Yesterday was one such day. I had to visit the District Court at Alibag for receiving certain documents from an Advocate appointed. As I reached the Court, I was welcomed by the familiar hustle & bustle that you find in every court. I could see so many advocates, so many interns & so many people- people who were parties to various cases- people who had come there for their own good reasons.

As I waited outside the Chamber before the Court began, I saw 3 people sitting just opposite me. There was a woman of around about 35, a girl of around 5, with maybe her brother who was around 15. By their appearance, it was evident that they were very poor. The lady was wearing a torn saree- rather, two different pieces of sarees torn out & sewed together, the girl was wearing a frock, & the guy was wearing a pant-which was completely torn from beneath with a shirt which barely resembled a piece of a cloth. Now,nobody needs a wise man here to tell that they were poor than the poorer.

The day passed & I was done with my work - partially. As the court's first half ended & they  broke for lunch, I again sat down at the same place. All this while, that family of 3 hadn't uttered a single word- even amongst each other.

Being the ever intriguing one, I asked the advocate accompanying them as to what had happened & why were they here. He informed me that the lady had lost her husband in an accident near the village & they had claimed an amount from the insurance company.

I instantly felt bad for them.

Before I could ask anything else, the advocate excused himself for a call.

I asked the lady, "Kitne ka claim hai?" The lady just stared at me. Maybe she didn't understand what I had asked her.

"4 Lakh ka", the boy answered me.

"Oh.." I uttered & smiled.

He smiled back & said, "Ye vakil Saab bohot acha hai. 4 lakh milega humko unka wajah se. Sab thik Ho jayenga ab."

I didn't know what to say. Here was a guy of 15, who had lost his father, had a mother & a sister- all three illiterate, with clothes barely covering them, with a vast life ahead of them - & they were grateful to God, rather the Advocate, for helping them get 4 lakh rupees.

"Kya karoge ye pese ka?" I asked.

"Ghar banayega." He answered back excitedly.

"Ghar banaoge? Usse acha bank me daalo na pesa, ghar banane me adhe se jyada khatam Ho jayega. Bank me daloge toh bachega aur badhega."

"Nai madam. Ghar banana hai. Uss din baarish aya dekho, jhopda udd Gaya. Bohot taklif hota hai. Ghar hi banaunga me." He replied.

I felt upset. Not because I thought he was to give up the entire amount In just building a house. But I felt upset because of his economic condition. 

Here was a guy who was happy on getting an amount like 4 lakh, he dreamed about building a house from that & he also felt that his & the families' life was secured by the amount. The disparity amongst people of our society is very disturbing at times. It puts your mind into a temporary shock. Not that we do not know that there exist people out there who are poor, who have nothing to eat on days, who are maybe poorer than this poor kid in front of me. But when you suddenly witness such a situation before you, that is when the intensity strikes you like a thunder.

Meanwhile,their advocate returned back. 

I later got to know that the lady's husband was a workman, a majdur. Somebody took him to the city for "work", where he slogged for an entire year, & came back at the end with a sum of rupees 2000 only. & that was one of the highest earning the family had encountered ever. So these 4 lakh rupees meant a lot to them. Maybe equivalent to our 4 crores. Rather maybe even more.

All this made me realize once again that there are people out their who are so poor, so much economically backward. They have no means & ways to come up in life & that's a reality. I am not saying that they can never come up in life- some of them do, but after a lot of struggle & a lot of help. Just building schools for poor kids won't educate them really. Or just providing them free or subsidised grocery also wont really help them. Because their condition is so much beneath all this, that they would rather prefer taking the free meal & selling it off to earn them something. I had heard this incident where a social activist built a free school for such downtrodden kids, but the parents just did not send them there- because as per the mothers', the kid better go & hunt a bird to get it home to cook so that they at least have a meal for 2 days. - (& that's a real incident)

Yes, that's the condition of a huge portion of the society. They are backward, they are economically paralysed & neither do they have any help, nor do they wish to take the help that's being offered to them- because they need something altogether different.

I wont go into the economic differences or the issues or effects, neither the circumstances nor the measures for or against the "economic disparities". All I wish to say is, when you look at such people, you realise how lucky you are. You realise how you do not have to struggle for the very meagre basic things - rather the basic necessities of life. You are so much luckier than the ten thousands of people out there- who struggle every day- for every basic thing- for no fault of theirs.

& being there- sitting outside the Chamber of the Judge, I also realize another philosophy of the society- Money is what separates classes & draws the line amongst people. But when you are in the Court of Law, a person with a 100 crore property sits down on the same bench with a person whose income for the entire year is just Rs.100- both awaiting equally for the law to bestow justice to them.

(Image Source: Google Images. If used your image by any chance, contact me. Incidents hypothetical at places to express the point.)