Happy Birthday, to the best DAD

Happy Birthday, to the best DAD 

Father's have always been underrated. We have always had so much written about mothers and their love and their sacrifices; we have always kind of over shadowed the father's. Every time I see an extremely philosophical quote about a mothers love; I instantly remember my dad as well. Because a father's love is also as pure and as sacrificial as that of a mother’s.

My memories of my dad are all good ones. Honestly, not one bad memory I have. He has always been the man who has showered me with extreme love, affection and care.

When I was a baby, I would never let him go to office. Every morning as he left from home, I would start crying & screaming at the top of my lungs. So much that he had to come back up, play with me, maybe put me to sleep or distract me and then go to office. & This happened every single time. You see, I have always been extremely fond of dad since the very beginning.

As I grew up, dad and I became the closest. He would always play with me, make me laugh, bring me chocolates and do whatever he could to make me happy.

I don't remember who taught me how to walk but I sure remember that dad taught me how to ride a bicycle. He was so patient with me. He would hold the cycle and run behind it, for hours until I learned to ride it properly. Every time I fell down, he would come pick me up, say it's okay and then would prompt me to start riding again. Maybe that's why I don't give up so easily even today. Probably cuz in those cycle sessions, I knew no matter how many times I fail at a task, dad would always be there to pick me up, tell me it's okay and help me start afresh.

When I was in school, probably 1st std, dad wanted me to learn swimming. So we enrolled for a swimming class. I never really liked swimming to be honest but I went. I was also good at it; dad was my coach. But one fine Sunday as we went to the pool, dad casually said, "there is more water today"; and I freaked out. I threw a tantrum right there and refused to even step into the pool area. Dad got really angry & took me back home and punished me. It was a normal punishment to be honest; he made me stand on the high platform from where I couldn't get down- which was kinda funny really. But I still say this to him every single time and every single time he feels so bad about it.

When I was in school, I had a habit of drinking bournvita eevery night. & I always wanted it from dad. Even if he would be late from office, I would wait for him to come back, be it 10 or 12 and I would have it only from him. Now though I do not have bournvita, I still always wait for dad to come back home, and have dinner together, no matter how late he gets.

Kids are usually scared of their father in comparison to their mothers. Not me. I have never been scared of dad. He has always been the most sweetest, the most gentlest and the most caring man I have ever seen in life. For me he has always been the one who would listen to me, always pamper me a lot, who always gave me a free hand at everything I ever wanted to do.

This one time I was going away for merely 2 days to mom's native and I still remember he cried at the station. Because he wasn’t going to see me for a whole 2 days. Like literally cried there on the station. And this has been till date. Whenever I have been away even for a single night, he has cried. Always.

Whenever I was sick, he has always been there. Running from doctor to doctor. Trying to make me feel better. Even when I have something as mere as cramps, he won't let me even get up from my place. He'll always hug me, pat my head, try to make me feel better. And honestly whenever I am sick, having him close by does make me feel better.

When I was in school, he had an accident. A serious one. We all went to the hospital and waited. As he was bought into the hospital from the ambulance; I burst out crying. I had never seen dad like that. He had blood all over and he couldn't walk properly and he had something tied across his arm. I will never in my life forget that. He was rushed to the ICU. He was almost passing out. But even in that, he called me inside the ICU and showed me a thumb wishing me all the best; as it was my exam the next day.

He always accompanies me and my mom for my shopping. He absolutely hates it of course, but he still comes. And I, even though never take his choices in to consideration, always want him there.

One year in Diwali, I accidentally burnt my hair. My hair caught fire on the diya and dad literally put off the fire with his bare hands. Reflexively his 1st reaction wasn't to get water or even think about burning his hand; but to save me. How do father's do that?

Last year I had a back problem and he was literally the strongest support. He was more worried for me that I was. He sat with me the entire time. He went to innumerable doctors even though he himself had fever. But even in that all he could care about was making me feel better, thinking about me and only me.

When I cleared my CS, he was so happy and so proud. As he distributed sweets to people, I could really see him brimming with happiness and pride. He had a pumped up chest and a smile so wide I can never forget. And I really hope I can keep making him proud in the future as well. Really baba, I won't ever let you down. 

Even today, he keeps doing these small small things for me. Whenever there is a new chocolate in the market, he will get it for me. Even if I merely say "I feel like eating so & so"; his first reaction is, "I'll go get it" no matter if it's 6 in the morning or 11 in the night. If I even feel a slight discomfort, he'll really get worried and do whatever he can. He will give me his umbrella and get drenched himself, even though he catches cold easily. He will always make me walk from the inside of the road. He will immediately exchange plates the moment I even mention that I don't like my ordered food. He will always come to drop me or pick me up, the moment I call, no matter what he is doing, even if he is having dinner or is on an important call. There was this one time where we ordered a falooda with ice cream and I couldn't really eat it bcuz of the ice cream so I said I don't want it; but he knew why and he actually fed it to me.

From as long as I can remember, he has been there for me. Through thick and thin. Always giving me the support I needed, whenever I needed him.  Never once in my life I had to worry about any pressures because I knew he would always support me. And he has. He has always since forever supported me in all my dreams, all my ambitions. He has always motivated me to get what I wanted, always helped me realise that I can achieve whatever I set my mind to. Because he would always be there. Even if all bets are down, I know he will always be there.

I have never in my life seen a man better than my dad. The means and extents he goes to just to put a smile across my face, who wouldn't care a tini tiny bit about the world if it comes across my happiness. Though mom has taught me a lot of things and I call her my teacher in a way, dad has also been one. He has taught me far greater things.

I wish I could stay with my dad forever. Not to mention, the perfect man that he is, always has been; he has set really strong standards. Whenever I meet a guy I try to look for parts of my dad in him. But no guy can ever be as amazing a man as my dad. He really is the best there can ever be. & even though I never admit it as often as dad does, it terrifies me as well thinking about living away from him after marriage.

I probably don't say it as much as I should but I really love you baba. You are my best friend, my strongest support, like a rock. I might not express it as much as I should but I really care for u, a lot. & You mean the world to me. & I really really hope that I keep making you proud and happy. I really wish I do make you happy even now. You are one of the best person in my life and I cannot even imagine not having you around, or not having your support ever. Please always be with me, just like you have always been and I'll be the happiest girl in the world. Since a kid, I have trusted you to catch me when you threw me up in the air, and I’ll always trust you with my life, forever.

And honestly thank you. Thank you for everything that u have done. But you'll have to keep doing those things cuz I'll always need you.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Love you loads.

You're the best.

THIS THING WE CALL "LOVE"…

THIS THING WE CALL LOVE…

Why do we find it so hard to accept love? To confess love?

Isn’t it supposed to be a positive emotion?

I have seen people flip out the moment a person expresses their love towards them. I have done it too. Freaking out, only because someone said they loved me. This is so strange, isn’t it? It is like we millennials do not want to get entangled into this beautiful mess that is called love. It’s always “too much” or “too fast”. We keep saying things like we aren’t ready for love or we do not have the time for love; but is that going to change, ever? Rather, do we really want that to change?

Equally, we are also scared to fall in love or express the love that we have. We try to constantly keep our feelings in check, under control, trying to fit it & limit it within boundaries. All this, only because we fear getting hurt. We fear vulnerability. We fear endings. We carry the weights of our pasts. We think of the negative “what if’s” even before there’s a reason to.

I have seen people who would love to be in relationships, yet are not, only because they fear intimacy. Because they fear commitment. Because along with all the wonderful feelings, love also brings with it compromises and adjustments. It also brings with it the need to put someone else before you. & we, as a generation, are scared of it.

Yes, scared is the word.

We are all so scared of love. Scared to love. Love- which is supposed to be the easiest & the most stimulating feeling ever. Love- which is supposed to make you feel good about yourself. Love- which is supposed to make your life better, make the problems appear smaller. Love- the only thing that can make you feel complete.

It is funny how we flip out, try to find reasons & over analyze everything if someone says “I love you”. But we wouldn’t bat an eyelid if a person said “I hate you”.

Why is love so hard to accept? Why is it so messed up? Or is it, really? Maybe we have messed it up by our over analyzing skills. We are constantly stuck between “what if it’s not the right one” and “what if it is the right one”, that we prefer to stay in the middle- where things are easier. Yes, we tend to take the easier way out.

But that’s not how love works. You can fall for any random person, anytime. Love doesn’t make you worry about her past or about his financial stability. It is an all accepting feeling.

When you look across a crowded room and see him there- the relief that washes over you is love.

When after a tough long day, you listen to her voice- that momentary ease you feel is love.

When he reaches out to hold your hand while you’re crossing roads- that’s love.

When she keeps checking on you, even after you’ve had a fight- that’s love.

When you can talk about anything & everything; but also when the silence is as comfortable- that is love.

When you hold her/ him close to you, & that very moment, for that tiny instant there the world feels just about right- that is love.

It was so much simpler in the good old days. I do not think the previous generations were so messed up or so confused about love. Why can’t we be like that? We keep looking for everything in a partner- looks, personality, sense of humor, sexual compatibility, family values, career, past- everything. & we over analyze everything, with our first instinct being- to find a fault somewhere. & when we cannot find any fault, we try to look for reasons beyond. We look for a perfect love story, a fairy tale life. But we can never find it, because love is not a story book. It is always going to be a lot of work, but in the end it will all be worth it, because that’s how love is.

Love is a beautiful feeling. It is the only thing that gives you strength, the only thing that has the capacity to make you feel even so slightly better in this crooked world. But here we are, fighting against it, avoiding it, running away from it as much & as far as we can. 

But we cannot run from it forever, for Love is a short word but the most important one.

For love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt. 

International Women's Day

International Women's Day

Every year we celebrate women’s day with a lot of enthusiasm and fanfare. International Women’s Day is celebrated on March 8 worldwide, commemorating the political, social and economic achievements of women. Over the decades, the objective of Women’s Day celebration has evolved and embraced culture and ethnicity to emerge as a celebration of appreciation, respect and love towards women. 

On International Day for Women, huge sentiments are expressed about the power of women and many proverbs and poems are directed towards us. It is really nice to have a special day for yourself where you are glorified to a point of being dazed, honored, awarded etc.

On this specific day, women are put on the stage and felicitated by everyone, for being the women that they are, for portraying the immense strength and sacrifice throughout, and for reaching new levels of epitome, success and grandeur with each passing year.

Every year, every Women’s Day, we speak ferociously about gender equality. How both the men and the women are equals and should be treated equally. How there is nothing that the women cannot do that the men can. However it is a sad state of affairs when we see the reality of the situation in light. We love to boast about the level of gender equality that we have all achieved, which is of course, remarkable compared to what we had until a few years back. However, is it really yet “equality” to say the least? I still see women struggling to reach a certain basic point in life, in comparison to their male counter parts. I still hear so many incidents, so many industries where women aren’t given an equal and a fair share, for no other reason than specifically because they are women.

Even today, a woman is expected to stick to the age old conventions of woman hood. She is supposed to have it all together. She has to be a responsible daughter, an excellent housewife, a multi-tasking daughter in law; all the while juggling with an equal work pressure just as her husband or her father probably. Though I agree that the situation is changing and the men are turning a lot more understanding, there still are about 80% of them who would prefer their wife struggling and juggling between work and home. Why just men, even women to say the least. Even today, I hear so many incidents where the mother-in-law still puts all the onus of managing the work-home balance expressly on her daughter-in-law, and not her son. 

Why, you ask? Why, when both of them work for 9 hours every day? Well, the answer is simple. Because she is a woman.  

'Gender equality', you said?

This leads me to another very prominent term these days. “Feminism”. We cannot not talk about feminism when we talk about gender equality. First of all, let me clear what feminism actually means, for I have seen so many people- both men and women confuse the term. Feminism means the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes. Simply, Feminism is about equality and not the idea of women being greater than men. It also does not mean that you need to show men down. Or you need to argue over every chivalrous act of a man and call it anti-feminist. Feminism is simply a movement, where you do not consider a woman below a man just because she is a woman; where you appreciate & accept her strength. As simple as that! I have heard so many jokes over feminism recently, I have literally cringed at the notions people have about the concept.

We have been celebrating Women’s Day for so many years now. We all talk highly about the women, wish them on this day; make them feel respected, loved and cherished.

However, it really saddens me to say that most of us are pretentious when it comes to such occasions.

Let me recount a situation. We have a neighbor who has a daughter, a CA. She wanted to study further, however her parents did not allow her to, for if she is excessively educated, she would not get a better groom; and what’s the purpose of so much education anyway when "you ultimately have to be a house wife".

Yes, that’s a true story, & yes such things still happen even in cities like Bombay. So many girls aren’t allowed to study as they desire for the fear of not finding a suitable groom, as if “finding a groom” is the basic purpose of life and achieving salvation! So many women are told to give up their jobs after marriage, for “taking care of the house is a full time job”. So many women are burdened with the responsibility of quitting their jobs after childbirth, for what can be more important to a woman than her child. Why, even conceiving a child is not entirely her choice, I would say, though its HER body. 

For we are the hypocrites who give more importance to the society than to the wishes and dreams of our own daughters and wives.

"...

“You haven’t conceived a child yet? It’s been 4 years into your marriage! What’s wrong with you?”

“You cannot stay out after 11 PM. That is so late for a girl. How can you even ask that?”

“Oh, she is always hanging out with those 3 guys, alone. She definitely must be chaalu”

“She is already the Manager! I wonder what she did in order to reach up there so fast!”

“Oh my God, you cannot cook yet? What will your in-laws think of you & your family?”

“You drink and smoke so much! You are a girl, you shouldn’t be doing these things!”

“How much more do you intend to study? What is the point when you ultimately have to place your marriage and family first!”

“You read about that rape case? These girls wear such provocative dresses. these days! What is wrong with them?” ..."

Such and so many more questions, still thrown at the women. So many responsibilities, so many restrictions; so many tags given and so many faults found. It is always HER, isn’t it?

And then we celebrate these days- this Women’s Day on every 8^th of March, every single year, diligently; where we talk about how we have progressed and how each one of us respects the women all over. Like I said, most of us are pretentious hypocrites, aren’t we?

We need to stop pulling women down, expecting the same things we did from them, since ages. Women have excelled in every area of life, and are reaching tremendous heights every passing day. Stop trying to put them in a mold, trying to make clones out of them- efficient, standard, factorized clones, who would tend to your age old conventions and needs.

I wouldn’t say that only the men are responsible for this, for I see so many women judging other women, being mean towards them, trying to standardize them into the factory made products, burdening them with societal pressures, pulling them down and trying to place the woman at fault, no matter what the situation is.

It really pains me to see when a woman goes out with her friends to celebrate women’s day, but to do so, has to previously obtain a “permission” from her husband for the same. When, after spending a certain amount on a celebration has to go back and account for each and every penny spent. Irony, isn’t it?

Women’s Day shouldn’t only be about celebrating women and making them feel special on that one single day. It has to be a consistent process.

Small things like encouraging your daughter to find her dreams; appreciating the efforts and helping your wife at home, letting her take some important decisions; treating all children equal; making your girlfriend believe in herself and increase her self-confidence; making a woman feel safe; respecting her & her opinions; letting a friend be herself and other such considerate gestures shown to women at the very basic level, will impact the Society tremendously more than any superfluous women’s day celebration will.

So all you women out there, go ahead. Pursue your dreams. Get that degree. Work your ass off, no matter how many excessive hours you have to put in. Wear whatever it is that makes you feel beautiful. Hang out with whoever you wish to. There is nothing that you cannot achieve. There is nothing that you cannot overcome. & there is no responsibility that you cannot handle.

& most of all, believe in you. For you are a special soul who is blessed with great power and strength, it is just about going out there and doing it. 

You are the one who can literally create life inside you and support it; you can most definitely create your own path and lead the life you deserve.

You are a WOMAN, trust me- you can fly; it’s only a matter of time until you find your invisible wings and sour to great heights!

Happy Women's Day, all!

Mahashivratri

Mahashivratri

Mahashivratri is a festival celebrated annually all over India, mostly in the month of February. The fourteenth day of every lunar month or the day before the new moon is known as Shivratri. Among all the twelve Shivratris that occur in a calendar year, Mahashivratri, or the “great night of Shiva” is the one that has the most spiritual significance. It is observed a full day, remembering the Lord, chanting mantras, fasting and visiting Shiva temples; complete with a jaagran.

Different legends describe the significance of Mahashivaratri with different stories. According to one legend, this is the night when Shiva performs the heavenly dance of creation, preservation and destruction. According to another legend, this is the night when Shiva and Parvati got married. A different legend states that the offering to Shiva icons such as the linga is an annual occasion to get over past sins if any, to restart on a virtuous path and thereby reach Mount Kailasha and liberation. Another popular belief associates Maha Shivaratri with the legend of Lord Shiva drinking poison to save the universe.

It is Mahashivratri today and as on every year, I and all the members of my family observed a fast. I am a staunch devotee of Shiva and hence every year now, I have been observing a strict fast on this day, having nothing but water. After starting the day with a Puja and offering Lord Shiva with his favorite white flowers and bel, I decided to visit a Shiv temple nearby.

After standing in the queue for almost 20 minutes, I reached the Shiva Linga, which was surrounded by a lot of devotees, chanting “om namah shivay”, offering fruits, flowers and incense sticks. Not to mention, pouring milk all over the lingam.

Now this is a course that happens every single year, & I observe this on every holy occasion that has a Shiva significance; be it Shravan or Shivratri. Devotees offer milk to the Lord, by pouring it all over the Shiv Linga, which then flows down a small formation made & into a pit.

Even though I have been seeing this every year since I was a kid, it still saddens me every single time. The amount of milk that is poured in one single temple is probably liters and liters. & we have at least 5 temples in each city, and India has roughly around 500 cities. That makes it gallons & gallons of milk, literally going waste in just one day.

Though many people would argue here that it is all about faith or belief or what we call, “shraddha”; I really feel this is taking it a bit too far. I agree to the fact (or fiction) that Lord Shiva is always offered milk, and for that reason devotees most definitely wish to offer him his favorite, especially on the most holy days. But is it really right to do so?

Liters of milk go waste every year, when there are so many people starving out there. I fully agree with the fact that we cannot feed every soul every day, and this gross wastage of milk happens once a while, but it still is horrible. We really need to re-think our customs & beliefs- keep the ones that really hold some significance, and abandon the rest. If you really want to offer something to the Lord, offer him your faith, your mind and your soul. Chant his name, think good thoughts, do good unto others. Maybe that is the way the Lord will actually smile upon you. He is Shiva- the one Lord who is considered to be over every illusion, every materialism; the Lord who is considered the most innocent of all, one who is a giver.

& as far as offering milk to the deity is concerned, you can always take some milk, offer it to him, (& pour a spoonful if you really cannot do away with it), and then share the same with a person in need.

Wouldn’t that give you more peace; rather, won’t the Lord feel happier if you help another child of his?

He is Shiva- the Lord who fears no one, who is the start and the end, who is the conqueror; Shiva, who is the creator and the destroyer; whose mantra, Om Namah Shivay itself means “I honor the divinity that resides within me”.

Worth a thought, isn’t it?

Happy Mahashivratri!

(The views expressed above are solely of the writer and are not intended to hurt anybody's religious faith or sentiments.)

Inside Her Mind- Part I

Inside Her Mind- Part I- Marriage and The Things Related.

I have observed this; there are certain taboos in our society when it comes to women. No matter how much ever we love to tag ourselves as the most modern and liberal individuals, I have realized that when it comes right down to it, we still prefer to shy away or cocoon ourselves in our age old ideas concerning women.

Being a girl in her mid-twenties, I have been prey to a lot of such talks where I have been tempted to really question the sanity of the person throwing dumbfound questions towards me.

A lot of times, I and my parents have already been asked questions like “when is your daughter getting married?”, “Oh, she is 24? Are you not trying to find a groom for her yet?” followed by “It’s high time you start with your search as it’s pretty difficult these days.” Not to mention the king of all, “umar nikal jayegi.”

This reminds me of a conversation my mom recently had with one of my aunt, where she asked my mother about her intentions of getting me married.

Mom: “She wishes to study further.”

Aunt: “How much more does she want to study? She is already 24, with 2 degrees. Aur kyu ab?”

Mon: “It’s her dream!”

Aunt: “Itna padhke kya karna hai. Wese bhi baadme ghar hi toh sambhalna hai”

Oh yes, for all you guys out there, such people still do exist. & for the girls reading this, I am sure you must have faced such an argument at least once; and if you haven’t, trust me, you will!

I fail to understand how can people be so orthodox, or should I say, blinded? Women are reaching places; they are achieving epitomes of success. They are working off their asses in companies, and they are reaching the space. I know this sounds clichéd but it is a fact worth stating, no matter how typical the argument might sound. As here, we still have people- polished, educated, city-dwellers, who still go about with the same thought process which has been (or so I thought) needs to be abandoned right away.

I do not wish to make this an argument about feminism or how great women have been in the society, but I cannot help but quote examples of Chanda Kochhar, Indra Nooyi, Dr. Rani Bang or Deepika Padukone. Look at what each one of them has achieved in their respective fields. Worth the mention, and worth the respect.

I always feel, the sixties and seventies is one of the most failed generation. Before you all pounce on me, let me state that my parents belong to the same one and I still stick to that point. The reason why I feel this way is because that generation has sort of seen the most oppression from the preceding generation and the greatest liberty from the succeeding one (that’s us, 90s & further). They are probably so stuck in understanding what to do where to be, that they have miserably screwed themselves up. They wish to adapt to the “modern” lifestyle, but they can also not let go of the past which they love to call “sanskriti”.

Recently, my mother narrated (to me) this conversation which she had with her friend. Apparently, her friend was gossiping about one of their mutual friend, whose daughter in law, even after “4 years of marriage”, had not conceived a child. How that has to be her problem, I have no idea. But this is exactly how it went.

Gossip Aunty: “It’s been 4 years since they got married. Still no child. She is already 27! God knows how their families can allow this. The right time has already passed. I don’t know what is wrong with today’s girls. They just want to go after their careers. Nothing else matters to them!”

Mom: “Yeah, but career is important!”

Gossip Aunty: “Ha Matlab thik hai career-shareer, par ye jyada jaruri hai na. It is the responsibility and the duty of the girl to give birth to a child and look after it. At least until it is 5 or something. Job ka kya itna!”

I was dumbstruck by this conversation. And then I had a few questions which I would really love to ask her, whenever I get a chance to meet her.

Q1. How is it your concern, lady? It is her life! It is the girl and her husband’s decision whether or not to have a child. Who are you to talk about their life decisions?!

Q2. Why is it only the woman’s responsibility? Isn’t the man equally responsible (pun not intended)? It is his child as well. The poor woman has already been through hell, carrying the baby for 9 months, going through all the pregnancy pains, not to mention the delivery, the post pregnancy trauma- she also has to be completely responsible for the child until it is 5? Isn’t the man equally responsible and entitled to taking care of and looking after the kid? I mean c’mon, we have paternity leaves coming up for men as well and here we are- still stuck to the notion that “it is entirely the woman’s responsibility.”

Q3: Her statement, “duty of the girl to give birth to a child”. Duty? Seriously? *goes and pukes*

Q4. What is with this “today’s girls” tag? Yes, we are today’s girls. Yes, we are passionate about our careers. Yes, we do give importance to our dreams. We are proud of it. Stop using the term “today's girls” as if it means something degrading or satanic.

I do not know when will people really start understanding these things. At times, I just feel it’s the women who bring down women- setting up standards, putting out tags, judging, gossiping about the ‘what why and whens’, especially when it is none of their business.

People need to realize it’s high time now that we start giving women their freedom- literally and not merely for the purpose of giving speeches on women’s days. We need to stop tagging girls who have more than one relationship, who decide to not get married even in their thirties, who do not wish to conceive even if their “biological clock” is ticking, who go out and about with their careers, who follow their dreams and place their passion before everybody else, who wish to achieve a position in the world before anything else. We need to stop pulling them down, trying to fit them in our clichéd, pre-decided, good-for-nothing molds. Let them decide for themselves what they wish for in life, what they wish to do with their own lives. Stop clipping their wings and let them fly.

Respecting a woman does not always just mean not harassing her physically. It also means respecting her dreams, her opinions, her decisions and her lifestyle AND accepting it.

The sooner we realize this, the better.

Random Musings- Part 1- It's all about Being Content!

Random Musings- Part 1- It's all about Being Content!

There comes a point in your life when you start seeing things differently. What appeared to be great suddenly seems pathetic, while something that felt horrible suddenly looks like a great idea. There comes a point where you truly understand yourself and realize your own worth. You realize who has actually been there for you, and who just pretended to be your support. You see the ups and downs- you feel bad; yet you also feel accomplished; sad- but at complete ease with the situations, with the surprising turn of events, and most importantly, with yourself.

I have been through some really tough times recently; and while I am fully aware of the fact that people go through a lot more every single day; the “surprising turn of events” surely did change me as a person.

Life, in general, is so busy these days. We have our jobs which are no longer restricted within the 9-5 brackets. We have a lot to cope with the social pressures, what with the constant need to be active over Facebook and Whatsapp. We have increasing number of obligations to meet, and at the mere age of 22-25 we are burdened with our own expectations and constant comparisons. We have to also necessarily take out time from our schedules to catch up with random friends and guzzle down 3 liters’ of alcohol, heck otherwise to scar our social images. Oh, and to mention the feeling of constant despair while going through people’s vacation posts.

I learnt a lot in the past few months. I realized how in the midst of your chaotic beautiful world, life can hit you in the shins. How you have no other option but to get over it, and above. I realized what true friendships are; not to mention which relations are worth the effort and which are there to just decorate my life on a canvass. I realized that no matter what, family is the only constant. I found God in midst of the lost beliefs. I found new hobbies. I found how something can completely turn your life around. How one decision can make or break your years. Well, that’s a lot about me. Let’s change this to generality.

Many a times while we are completely wound up in our busy lives, we fail to realize how absolutely lucky we are. We fail to recognize the efforts of the people around us. We fail to consider our families. We start taking things for granted. We start cribbing about every small thing that goes a bit astray- everything from the traffic to the arrogant boss. We forget to ask our friends how they are doing. We forget that there is a life beyond work, and there is tranquility beyond getting high. We forget to appreciate the little things- the morning coffee that your mom makes for you, getting a seat in a crowded local. But most importantly, we forget to understand our own selves, we forget to recognize what our heart really desires and we forget how very abundantly lucky we all are for all these tiny winy things.

After the past few months, I have realized one thing with ferocity. And that is, being your own hero. You do not need somebody else to come around and help you, you can fairly do it yourself. You can keep your own self happy- you do not need anybody else if and when you decide to be happy. No toxic person can ever change that for you once you decide to be happy.

You know what? Let’s just skip all this. All I would say is, be at peace with yourself. Accept your situation, accept the circumstances. Because with complete acceptance, comes complete happiness. & what more does one need in life than to be purely happy?

1. Start looking positively at things. Whatever happens, either makes you or breaks you; and what it does to you, is completely in your hands. Take everything as it comes and just do your best out of it. There are always going to be strange turn of events completely out of your hands- why cry and crib over them? Instead, accept them and find a way through it. The greater time you spend cribbing over the changes, the deeper you will drown in your sorrows.

2. Get out of toxic relationships and away, far far away from toxic people. Instead, observe the people around you. I realized the hard way that many times the ones we think are our forevers, are the first ones to flee when you are in the pit. But we are just so caught up in our own lives and our own fantasies that we fail to recognize the real from the unreal ones. Recognize such real ones. Be with them. Your life is not supposed to be just a beautiful canvas, but also a meaningful one, right?

3. Be happy. Make genuine efforts to be happy. I strongly feel happiness doesn’t just come to you. You have to go, seek it. The one that just comes to you is usually short lived. Remember the time when you gave 10 interviews and finally got selected in your dream company? That kind of happiness. Would it be similar if someone just placed a job right in your lap? So go, seek happiness. Pursue it. Chase it. People say that the best happiness is the one that does not have to be fought for. That’s wrong. You need to fight for your happiness.

4. Be at peace with your inner self. This is the most important thing. Unless you are at peace with your own self; no person, no passion, no royalty can ever make you feel content. Understand your own self, be at peace with it. Only then will you be satisfied with life. Isn’t that exactly what we all really seek- satisfaction?

It isn’t all that hard you know. You just need to take some time, think through things and understand it in all its wholeness. What is it that you really want?

Trust me, its happiness, and nothing else. 

As they say, the grass looks greener on the other side. I beg to differ. Probably the grass on the other side isn’t green at all. Or probably the grass on the other side is greener, for it is not real.

Or probably, just maybe, you are supposed to be the beautiful autumn and not the harsh summer.

  

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(P.S. This one below, only because I really loved it!)